Narrator Carrie is talking about all the times of day and places that are off limits for people going through a break up. There are scenes of empty parks and crowds of people. The City has become a deserted battlefield loaded with emotional landmines, she says, you have to watch where you step or you could get blown to pieces. I didn't think that they put landmines in battlefields, I always thought the trenches and fields were clear for the footmen and horses and stuff. I mean, we aren't talking WWII stuff either way, but she didn't say IEDs, which are found all over and in battlefields. Course, modern warfare doesn't even have battlefields-- and now I'm wasting a lot of too much time thinking about this throwaway line. She is startled from her staring out the window by the doorbell.
It's Miranda and Charlotte. They are taking her out. It's been way too long that she's been isolated. Miranda wants to know how long she's going to be holding herself hostage, and Charlotte says that it takes half the time you went out with someone to get over them. Carrie jokes "I always love a good math solution to solve a love problem" I'm with her. Emotional stuff takes as long as it takes to get over. Miranda boasts that when she broke up with this guy Eric, she got over him right away. Cut your losses she says, get back into the game!
Carrie says she doesn't remember it going that smoothly. They talk on the street more about getting over an ex, about meeting the ex for the first time, and the consensus is that it sucks to see the guy for the first time after a break up. I have nothing to add. They seem to get it right.
Course, Carrie ruins it by giving Big WAY too much power. She says that if he had any class, he'd move away. Silly woman. You broke up with him. (we were on a breeeaaak)
They spend way too much money taking a cab down to the ball field for a Yankee game. They pick Sam up on the way. They get to see her with James. James is the sweet guy with the tiny penis from the last episode. He seems really caring and doting, but Sam is really really unsatisfied. It's sad, really. And funny.
"Me, James, and his Tiny Penis, we're one big happy family!"
The ballpark is a great place to go, according to Carrie, she can drink and smoke without judgement.
Miranda is a huge fan of the Yankees, but Sam can't see the new Yankee from all the way up in the nosebleed section. Carrie says that it's the only seats where she can smoke without Giuliani putting her away for ten years. I love dated political references. Course, when Trump shows up I won't feel so good about it.
Sam says everything sucks, this hot dog sucks, the seats suck, her whole life sucks. (she's just a bit bitter)
Charlotte reminds her that she has a man who loves her
(whoo love! Carrie sarcastically interjects)
Sam pulls a small bit of wiener off the end of her bun, asks "How would you like to make love to this every night?"
Carrie asks "Is it Kosher?"
Don't make me laugh." Sam laughs, "It's tragic!"
The New Yankee comes up to bat and Miranda gushes about how cute he is and all his stats. Carrie wonders about her own stats, what her dating record would show. Ten years of dating in New York, countless dates, one serious relationship, all ending in break ups. She'd be batting-- uh, whatever really bad is.
I always thought she said "whatever really BAT is" As in, Batting 300, so whatever really BAT is. But, I'm pretty sure she's saying "really bad." Anywho.
In the middle of all this statistics thoughts, a fly ball bounces off of Miranda's paw (I'm surprised she didn't bring a mitt) and lands next to Carrie's feet, and she picks it up. I sort of think that Miranda should have gotten it, but everyone seems to be on board with Carrie keeping it. Carrie is asked by Miranda "do you know what the odds of catching a fly ball are?" and she thinks to herself, she doesn't, but wonders if it has anything to do with the odds of finding a relationship that'll last.
That is just.. ridiculous.. but cute, if you're superstitious at all.
The next scene, Carrie had waved her Press Pass to get into the locker room to get her ball signed by the new Yankee. I really doubt that journalists who write weekly columns get press passes, but whatever, I'll let it *slide* heh.
Miranda points him out and they gab for a few minutes. Carrie's ball is signed and they flirt a bit. She decides as he's walking away that she is going to invite him to the Dulce and Gabbana party. No you can't. No one rebounds with the New Yankee?!
Apparently she does.
She's the new Carrie.
On the way out, Sam is a total peeping Tom, and sneaks a peak at the bulging Yankees in their locker room. Gross, Sam. Also, has baseball changed recently? All the players I ever see are really really fat. Not sexy *at all* What do I know though?
Gross. Trim your beards, guys.
At the D&G party, Carrie runs into Charlotte with a new guy-- a ball tugger. It freaks her out. Keep your hands *out* of that area while in public! Goodness! Carrie thinks she sees Big, but doesn't.. So, she enjoys the time with the New Yankee.
The next day, over breakfast, they talk about the ball players-- Sam suggests getting Charlotte's guy some more supportive underwear. Charlotte sees that Carrie is on Page 6, and they talk about what Big would think about that.
Miranda shows up and is annoyed that all they ever want to talk about are boys. It's like seventh grade with bank accounts. What about US? What we want, we know? It's pretty epic. They are quiet for a few minutes. It's awkward. And Charlotte brings up the boy topic again so Miranda leaves in a huff. Poor silly little girls. lol.
:P
Sam is in bed with James, trying to coach him to be a better lover. It doesn't work. D:
Charlotte gives her boyfriend the underwear and he is offended. We haven't even had sex yet and you're already buying me underwhere! Slow down! He leaves and Charlotte is over him in exactly a week and a half. (They had gone out for 3)
Miranda runs into Eric on the street and hides. She realizes how judgemental she'd been toward her friends. Good girl.
Over the course of the episode, Carrie has talked about her own break-up rules. One of them being destroy all pictures where he looks sexy and you look happy. She had taken the picture with a disposable camera, before she realized they could be disposable. That really is just sad. It scarred me for life, TBH, I was always kind of afraid to take pictures of Zac and me with a disposable camera. Luckily, they have become obsolete. ><
Anyway, another rule comes up while she's out at a bar with the new Yankee-- Never stop thinking about him even for a second because that's the moment he'll appear. And there he is, looking heart stoppingly handsome. It kind of is the perfect re-meeting. Only slightly awkward since she is on a date. Later on, she cries into the New Yankee's mouth and it is extra awkward. She tells him to leave since she is clearly not ready to date yet. She couldn't go home, so she called Miranda to meet up at their cafe place they always eat at. She feels silly that she's not over Big yet. This is when Miranda mentions hiding from Eric. She is supportive of her friend-- tells her to take all the time she needs. then they share a plate of fries and it is sweet.
Narrator Carrie ends the episode with the most important break up rule. You'll never get through it without your friends to support you. <3
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