She then, in narration, goes on to describe all the people she can't get it up for and be happy. And then she introduces another one-off friend we never see again, Lanie, who is having a baby shower in the "country," or you know, Connecticut. New Yorkers seem to think that anything not in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens or New Jersey is the Country.
She introduces Lanie in a flashback-- a party at Sam's house. "She fucks on that couch, she buys it" Sam says regarding the loose Lanie who is currently taking off her top in front of everyone.
Miranda thinks that the woman taking her top off in front of everyone and dancing like she's ecstatic about life has low self esteem. And Carrie thinks that Sam has low self esteem, which boggles my mind. I always thought Sam was the securest of the four. Carrie is obviously the least secure. I mean, if we're talking behavior and need for approval, Sam needs it the least, and Carrie (especially in the first two seasons with Big) is incredibly needy.
But it is said that Sam and Lanie have a long-standing rivalry.. which I buy, people who like to be in the center of attention usually are competitive with other people who like attention. I don't buy that that need for attention is a symptom of low-self esteem. What do you think?
Everyone expected Lanie to continue living the great life signing music artists all over the country, sleeping around, and generally being a fun party-goer.. but she did the most shocking thing of all. She married a rich guy and moved to Connecticut.
The four are hanging out at Carrie's house, watching a movie or something. They are gabbing about Lanie and the horrible baby shower she's going to be inflicting on everyone. Charlotte is excited about the shower, she thinks it'll be fun- especially since they've never visited her in Connecticut. Sam says there's a reason for that-- and Carrie interrupts and says "lime disease" which is hilarious because ticks are the first thing I think about when someone mentions the suburbs.
:rolls eyes:
Miranda says that it isn't just a baby shower, it's a cult: "They all think the same, dress the same, and sacrifice themselves to the same cause-- babies."
Ugh. I don't want to do this episode.. god. That is SO FUCKING insulting. It isn't even funny. like, maybe to a child-free awful asshole on the internet it is funny and Miranda (pre-baby) is their poster-gal for hating babies and mothers in general.. but god, we aren't all the same-- we aren't just breeders.. and we aren't fucking programmed.
This is where that line from the beginning comes in and becomes the crux of my hatred for this stupid episode. They can't be happy for their friends. They can't be happy for anyone who doesn't live the same life they do. They have to insult people who decide to get married and have kids and move out of the city. They can't just be happy for them because they are happy and have chosen the life they want. That's the thing too-- they are probably just reacting to the world treating them a bit shitty for being unconventional, but two wrongs don't make a right and they are alienating a whole slew of regular women who genuinely want those things.
Ugh. Back to the episode.
They continue to debate whether they should go to the shower or not. Carrie says that seeing wild Lanie all pregnant is like a road side attraction, they should definitely go see it. Sam agrees and says "Just imagine how fat she must be" And I really REALLY need to side eye the hell out of her now. There are only a few times when I disagree with Sam, and fat-shaming a pregnant woman is definitely one of them. It's like in Frasier, when the actress who plays Daphne is pregnant and they can't really hide it, but instead of writing it into the show or using good clothing and props to hide it, they pretend that she's just gained a bunch of weight. Then when she leaves the show for her maternal leave, they say that she went to a rigorous exercise camp or something-- it was done VERY poorly. I just can't with that shit.
UGH. back to the episode (again)
Carrie pencils in the date of the shower and notices that she has missed her period and freaks the fuck out.
A few days later (also known as 7 days late) they meet on the street in order to drive to the shower. Carrie realizes she forgot to buy a gift and that's when Charlotte is seen running toward them carrying a huge embarrassing present. Carrie decides to go in on that one (rude) and they all get in the car, and they realize that no one is in the drivers seat, and it is legitimately funny.
"does anybody know how to drive?"
looool.
Carrie does. She drives them to Connecticut and are greeted by a dog who gets shocked by an invisible electric fence. They are apparently all the rage.
And now begins the part of the episode that would definitely stoke the angry fires of the child free.
((Why can't we all get along?!!))
Lanie says to Carrie and Miranda: "Is Sam still bar hopping and bed hopping? It's so sad, when that's all you have?" And they are smiling with their teeth in that strained sort of way.
They go around the room and introduce all the mothers sitting around. There's the one doing In Vitro who shouldn't move, a few regular moms, and the old married couple: A woman and her son who are inseparable (but that's not really funny now that she and her husband are separating).
There's the mom that just pops around Miranda's shoulder just to tell them about how much she loves her son and calls him a god every single day. That is obsessive. Miranda jokes that the boy will never be able to find a woman who will make him happy... and it's quite astute actually.
Then she jokes that they've got Charlotte when Char is oohing and aahing over some of the cute little baby outfits.. you know, cause it's a cult. ha. haha. ha.
Carrie goes to the bathroom and sees a very large portrait of Lanie 7-months pregnant, and nude. And she narrates about how she wonders if all mothers keep a part of themselves after they have children or if they all lose themselves.
:forehead slap:
The interview portion of the show is a casual grouping of some of the moms at the shower who talk about their lives and how they are the same or different. I think the consensus is GUH! Of course women keep themselves. It may take a month or two to catch up on sleep, but holy god, we aren't pod people. JESUS.
And another gem. Carrie says "There's someone in there breastfeeding a child who can chew steak" and Miranda responds "you know how I feel about that, if you can ask for it, you're probably too old to have it."
:rolling my eyes SO MUCH HARDER THAN BEFORE:
How about: live and let live? You have zero experience with this thing that you're judging other people on. Shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down.
And here I have to bite my tongue again. In the next scene, Lanie is openly shaming Charlotte and her single friends for being single and not settling down yet. It isn't nice. Charlotte takes it well enough, she berates Lanie for trying to clean up at her own shower, "Yeah, cause once little Todd or Shayla comes, you'll never stop cleaning up" a random mother continues to berate Lanie--
"Shayla? Did you say Shayla" Charlotte looks accusatory toward Lanie
Lanie stole Charlotte's baby name! The one she made up all on her own when she was a teenager. poor Charlotte. And that woman says "You're not even pregnant!" "That's not the point!"
The four of them leave in a huff. I think I would too. Even though Shayla *isn't* a made up name, that is a huge breach of trust for Lanie to do that. Poor Char. D:
Charlotte, Sam, Miranda and Carrie all go to a shitty bar on the way home from the shower. They are all down in the dumps. Humiliated, according to Narrator Carrie. Inadequate, according to Sam. Charlotte is just hurt about the baby name, the other three apparently feel like the baby shower was an affront to their life choices. I don't know. If anything, if I were them, I would be happy I didn't have to go home with a child in my arms. Why would they feel bad about it?
Whatever.
Miranda talks about meeting a woman who has a masters in finance who only wanted to talk about her diaper genie. That woman sounds *boring* but clearly not the rule maker. "Well," Carrie says "Come on you guys, you don't have to lose yourself to have a kid-- I know plenty of cool hip mothers who live in the city and who still have great careers and stuff"
"Who?" they press.
She then reveals to Sam and Miranda that she might be pregnant. You know, cause she's 7 days late. and terrified.
They assure her that it is a gray area, and ask her what she'll say to Big. She doesn't know.
In a later scene, Charlotte empties out her hope chest. She is deflated by Shayla-gate. Poor Charlotte.
A few days later, Carrie and Miranda go to the pharmacy to pick out a pregnancy test. They chat with each other about how non-maternal they both are. It is kinda funny.
She doesn't end up taking the test. She wants to know how she feels about it first. :sigh:
Lanie calls Carrie to chat about whatever. Carrie is busy getting ready for Sam's "I don't have a baby shower" party. Lanie laments being pregnant and stuck in the suburbs. Carrie is trying to shake Lanie off, she doesn't want anything to do with her "friend."
Sam's party is hilarious. "I don't have a baby, Everybody drink!"
Miranda is making out with an accountant, Sam says to Carrie: "She fucks on that couch, she buys it!"
And surprise surprise, Pregnant Lanie shows up! She tries to get a drink and Carrie intercedes.
Sam says "She gives birth on that couch, she buys it" ZING!
Charlotte sees Lanie and is like.. GTFO I HATE YOU. And Lanie is like what the fuck is your problem. "Just that I had a dream, and you killed it!" meow! CAT FIGHT.
Charlotte reminds Lanie of the shitty things that Lanie said about their choices for their lives. Lanie reels. Charlotte moves away from Lanie and Lanie apologizes to Carrie, says her hormones are going crazy. (Narrator Carrie notes that Lanie's hormones have been going crazy since she was 12).
A little while later, Carrie is sick of trying to keep Charlotte away from Lanie and Lanie away from the vodka. She tells Lanie that it's time to go home, and Lanie is like, "NOOO! I don't want to go back there!" She offers the room a view of her breasts, and one guy is like.. "sure, I'll take a look." But she can't do it. She can't take her top off. "Oh well." The one guy says.
Narrator Carrie says something about Lanie's invisible electric fence, she puts Lanie in a cab and sends her off to Connecticut. Before she goes, Carrie says something about how it's not who she is anymore. And I just call bullshit. Half of the women who dance at the strip club we go to are mothers. It isn't some life shattering thing having a baby. People bounce back and they are who they are. GOD.
Carrie spends the whole next day ogling children at the playground. I don't know why. That sounds terrible and *boring.*
She thinks about what being a mother would mean to her, and whether she could do it.
Then on the way home she gets her period.
good.
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