A quick google search shows that I am wrongity, wrong, wrong. Shoulder padded shoulders and princess line waists were still all the rage in 1998.
Anywho. It starts at the wedding. Yet another friend of Carrie's we never ever see again, an interior decorator, is getting married to a man "who is more boring than exposed brick." I like exposed brick, but what do I know? I also like boring predictable men.
The foursome are actually pretty coordinated. They are wearing black and 'look like the Witches of East wick'.. which is another dated reference. I think that was a movie? There are a lot, a lot a lot, of old movie references and pop culture references throughout the show. I've taken the initiative through the years to actually try to watch some of these old movies and things, but a lot of them are really boring and I can't look past how old they are.
They all have to sit at one of the singles tables, the one with the brooding teenager, little boy, and The Turtle-- a very nice, enthusiastic man who happens to have bad breath. He also likes to guess what ingredients are in his food while he eats it. I think that is a fun characteristic, but everyone around him hates him for it. Or they don't put up with it because they are annoyed by his bad breath. I always kinda felt bad for the guy, course I don't know how bad his breath smells.
The rest of the wedding is boring. On the way out, the bride gives advice to all the girls, "don't worry you're next" she says to Charlotte. To Carrie, she says "It's always better to marry someone who loves you more than you love him" and it throws her for a loop.
She is writing about it in her little laptop thing, and then she calls Big to ask him why he got married and he reveals that he's never getting married again. Another loop.
Then the foursome have a conversation about men who want to get married and how they hate them. Or something? They prefer men who don't eventually want to get married? I'm still confused and I've watched this a hundred times.
"You know who wants to get married? Men who miss their mommies" according to Miranda.
Charlotte is bummed on Carrie's behalf. And Carrie says that she wasn't even thinking about it until he said that she couldn't think about it and now it's all she can think about.. which is healthy? I don't know. These women are so dysfunctional!!
Charlotte says "I think that a relationship has to be built on honesty and communication if it has any chance of succeeding" and they laugh at her, say that would be cute if she were 25, but she's 32 and that's just stupid.
And I am 28, married for 8 years and I believe what Charlotte says. So, am I going to suddenly wake up and not believe that? I guess it does have a fair amount to do with luck, and being on the same side as my spouse. Sometimes their problems are so very alien to me. I don't get them.
Miranda dismisses everything, says men are going to be obsolete in 50 years so might as well write them all off. Then she brings up the rabbit-- that trendy vibrator from the late 90s that isn't actually a good vibrator. I haven't used it, but I've seen one, they are really expensive and have really crappy reviews on various websites that sell them. There are definitely better vibrators out there.
They all go out and pay a hundred bucks each to buy the rabbit. OK, Carrie and Charlotte do. Sam is like.. I have a drawer full of better ones, you guys waste your money. >< Carrie is playing with hers a little bit seeing all the weird little features it has while on the phone with Samantha who is talking about her encounter with the Turtle. She was out on a date with a different man she met at the wedding, but he left her for another woman in the middle of a conversation. She was hurt, slightly tipsy, and decided to stick around with the Turtle who invited her to eat with him. She was honest about his breath, he made a joke or two, and she decided that she was going to turn him into someone that she could date. She's going to take him shopping and everything. She calls him a cute little fixer upper.
"Sweetheart, he's a man not a brownstone!"
So, in her article, Carrie asks "Is it time to settle for what you can get?"
She goes out to return some bad wedding gifts with her friend, who insists that yes, sometimes it is a good idea to settle.
They run into the turtle and Sam on the street-- He was wearing some really cool clothes, and they are taking him for a facial. So they leave. Carrie's friend says that Sam seems happy. Carrie doesn't. Carrie thinks Sam is settling.
Carrie and Charlotte are at Yoga in the next scene. Charlotte says she broke her vagina-- metaphorically. with the rabbit. She came for like, 5 minutes, and feels guilty because a man would never let her come like that. Carrie says, it's absolutely allowed to come for 5 minutes, encouraged even! But Charlotte claims she never ever wants to use it again ever. And then says that she can't go out with her later because she is (insert some lie here, she really just wants to stay home with the rabbit)
Carrie, Sam, and Miranda preform a rabbit intervention, say that she can't handle the rabbit and take it away from her.
I say they are jerks. She'll eventually come out of her hole and want to meet men again. :nods:
Carrie goes to the Ballet with Stanford. He says that even though he's gay, his grandmother doesn't believe in it, and will give him his inheritance when he weds. So, they come up with a grand idea to get married so that Carrie can be married and always have a source of shoes, and Stanford can have his inheritance. Big mocks her for the idea.
It doesn't work out anyway. They go to see Stanford's grandmother who is a classy classy lady. She asks if Carrie wants a family and for some reason Carrie says Yes. When Stanford is in the other room, she says "you know he is a fruit" and then it's decided that Stanford won't see his inheritance at all. You know, unless grandmother lives till he marries Anthony in the second movie. Course, that movie sucks, and I bet that she dies well before then anyway. She's never heard from again anyway. She wouldn't have watched the second movie anyway. It's terrible.
Sam and the Turtle are eating dinner, talking about things and having a good date. Suddenly the Turtle asks about the mushrooms in the dish, and Sam gets annoyed at him. He might be fixed up, but he is still the Turtle underneath all the changes. She dumps him, and he makes a great quip to the woman sitting near him. poor guy.
In the last scene, Carrie and Big are cooking some kind of marinara sauce together. Big is talking about timing, and Carrie is flustered and distracted. She maybe kinda wants to get married some day, and doesn't want to waste her time with a man who won't. He says he thought they were having fun, it's all about timing-- just like the sauce. And she realizes that she does want to have fun with him for awhile, and then they kiss and the music plays.
So, settling is bad, except when it's good, and everyone's intentions are revealed in the end. Or something.
I am still thrown by Sam calling Charlotte stupid for believing that communication and honesty are at the heart of a healthy relationship. What does she think is? And why would I listen to her, she is religiously single. Ugh.
Next up: The baby shower! The episode where they shit on mothers. FUN!
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