ooh! I just got it. They are on the ferry in an episode about fairytales. More like FERRY-tales, amiright?
Carrie has been asked to judge a whole bunch of firefighters for their annual calendar. hot. Really it's exactly how you'd imagine a slave auction pre-show. Each man individually goes up and struts his stuff in front of hundreds of women, dancing to disco. It's loud and crowded. Charlotte doesn't understand why they couldn't hold it in a bar in Manhattan. Miranda doesn't want to move to the back of the crowd because she can't see the pretty firemen without her glasses. Sam is already interested in at least one of the firefighters on the stage.
Carrie is currently flirting with a fellow judge --the token straight one-- a politician running for controller. I don't know what a controller is. I don't want to look it up either. I'm sick of politics for the year, SICK.
She doesn't want to flirt with him, but she's putting up a good show of it.
The next firefighter to go up is from a firehouse in lower Manhattan, and Samantha tells Charlotte (to her disgust) "I'd like to show him my Lower Manhattan." I love it!
At the bar after the s
Sam is flirting with the firefighter from Lower Manhattan, and he is a real dummy. Like, really, I think he must have gotten away from his caretaker.
Like this one.
When the scene cuts to them doing it, Sam let's out a riotous scream that sounds quite a bit like a fireman's alarm. I really like this trope, it is hilarious.
Back at the bar, Carrie is still not flirting with the Politician. She won't do it. Well, maybe a little.
"You have the worst taste in guys. ever. You gave that guy from midtown a seven!"
"I like a firefighter with love-handles; it gives you something to hold on to when you ride him down the side of a building."
"You got a point there my friend."
"But you. You were tough! What was up with all those half points?"
"Sometimes a girl needs a half."
He tries to needle where she lives out of her in the transparent guise of asking her what district she votes in. It's creepy, but I guess it's supposed to be endearing because he's cute. She isn't buying it. She calls him 'Mr President" ironically, and gives him nothing. She doesn't want to date him.
He asks if she's being cold because she just broke up with someone, and she pauses for awhile. She's thinking about Big-- but didn't they break up like 10 episodes ago? :goes and counts: OK, it was 6, but she's dated between then and now. And he's newly married, yes?
Whatever.
"That was an awkward pause"
"It was more like a pause and a half"
She escapes to Miranda to complain about the politician hitting on her. Miranda doesn't think this is a bad thing, but Carrie rightly points out that she can't date him because he gave someone a thumbs up. "We're out of here."
Miranda says that Charlotte is around here somewhere, and Carrie asks "How many cocktails did she have?" "A couple, why?"
She's there, behind them, dancing around by herself and singing disco loudly to herself. Totally drunk.
The Ferry ride home is less than stellar. Miranda and Carrie feel obligated to keep watch and a hand on Charlotte. They are grumpy about that. Charlotte is currently spinning around one of the poles and yelling about how she's getting married this year!!
"If she falls overboard, I will never stop laughing"
--
At breakfast next am, Charlotte is deeply regretting the couple of cocktails she had. Sam is in a great mood. She wants to talk about the fireman's cock, but Charlotte and Carrie veto that ("at least until a more appropriate cocktail hour.")
"Fine! I just wanted to let you know that my fireman was every bit the fantasy I had in mind!"
Charlotte objects. "I think it's wrong to sleep with a man just to fulfill a certain fantasy."
Sam points out that every man fulfills a certain fantasy.
Miranda asks the question women have been asking themselves for ages. "Why are firemen so cute? even when they aren't that cute, they're still cute. What's up with that?"
Carrie explains. "Well, first there's a weight limit. And second, it's the hero thing."
"It's because women just really want to be rescued" Charlotte is too hungover to realize she said the one thing that independent, single, women in their thirties are never supposed to think, let alone say out loud.
"I'm sorry, but it's true! I've been dating since I was fifteen! I'm exhausted, where is he?!"
"Who? the white knight?" Miranda is ashamed for her fallen comrade.
"That only happens in fairytales." Sam piles on the shame.
"My hair hurts."
Carrie bolsters her dismayed friend, reminding her that women are supposed to save themselves now, but Charlotte finds that depressing. :/
Later that day, Writer Carrie asks if women do just want to be rescued.
Miranda is currently at the eye doctor. She's getting lasik this weekend! She's excited, and the doctor is calmly going over the after-surgery information. He says that she needs someone to be there to pick her up, take her home and help her get to bed. She doesn't think she does. She's a bonified self-rescuer. In fact, Narrator Carrie calls it 'insulting' that the doctor would think that she needs help.
"I really don't need anybody to help me. I'll be fine!"
"No, you'll be sedated and your vision will be blurred. You'll need someone to help you get home and to bed."
Cool story bro: DH just got lasik a few months ago, it was exciting for him. Not having someone there in the office would have been a no-go. They literally wouldn't do the surgery if I wasn't there and he thought he could get home on his own. They had a lovely waiting room and the procedure took 20 minutes. Knowing this, the plot makes less sense then it ever did.
And another thing, what the fuck is insulting about needing help sometimes? She lives in a network of support and help, and she is insulted when someone points this out to her? what the fuck?
Steve asks later on, while she's talking about her surgery coming up on Saturday, whether she wants him there to hold her hand for support. She poo poos him, says she doesn't need any one to hold her hand.
"I'm not saying you *need* anyone, I'd just like to be there to help you, whatever."
Then he goes on to offer his help in getting her home and to bed. She rejects him again and says she's going to ask Carrie. He's justifiably miffed here.
It is so frustrating watching this! Most women would kill for a partner who supported them in the way that Steve wants to support Miranda. Not RESCUE. Just SUPPORT. you know? Humans needing other humans.
Why does Steve keep going after Miranda? He deserves someone so much better. goodness.
--
In the next scene, Charlotte and Carrie are out at a really nice bar somewhere. Charlotte is determined to meet the man of her dreams so she can marry him this year. But the first man they meet is a semi-reoccurring character named J.J.-- he's a publicist who runs in the same circles as Sam. He seems like a one-off guy, but he shows up later over the next few seasons to pester Sam.
He calls Charlotte "Sweet Lips" and they suddenly have to leave. But they don't leave, they just move to the other side of the bar.
"Hey, you didn't leave, you're just over here now!" He offers again to buy her a drink, she rebuffs him, and he presses and then is told off by a large blond man. And then J.J. is punched in the face by the large blond man.
Charlotte is intrigued by her rescuer. Run, Charlotte! He's a little quick to punch, if you ask me.
--
The politician has stalked Carrie and is waiting outside her apartment. Gross. He invites her out again, and she says No. Over and over she says no. He says he'll be waiting for her at a particular time to take her out. Gross.
--
Next morning, Carrie can't take Miranda to her laser surgery. She really is the worst isn't she?)
So, Miranda decides to go alone. They wouldn't do the surgery then. GEEZ. This is apparently an alternate universe where they would, and they do.
Thankfully, Steve is a lot nicer than I would be. He shows up to rescue her. To her chagrin.
Did she really think they were going to release a valiumed up patient immediately post-surgery? I mean, DH could see immediately after the lasik, but he wasn't supposed to look at anything. It is serious, and Miranda is pissing me right off, tbh.
When Miranda wakes up, Steve is there next to her and she finally sees him clearly. Took her long enough.
--
On Charlotte's date with the knight, they are at brunch. They are gabbing about nothing important, and Charlotte can hear wedding bells. Suddenly, someone bumps her chair, an accident really. But the knight comes to her rescue again, literally picking a fight with the chair-bumper.
He's not a guy who comes to a woman's rescue-- he's a man who likes to start fights!
--
There's an unimportant subplot of Sam living out a firehouse fantasy-- which ends up being a complete nightmare.
And back to Carrie who is ready for her date with the politician, can see him outside her window, but doesn't want to go down. After he drives off, she calls Miranda who explains her great pause, saying another thing that independent, single women in their thirties aren't supposed to think, let alone say out loud: "You're afraid of getting hurt again."
It's enough to snap her out of it and go to the party on Staten Island to meet Politician. He is surprised to see her, but she has to explain that it was a very bad break up and she needs to take things slowly. And she can't take rides from him.
She's late getting to the last ferry of the night though, loses her shoe in a very Cinderella moment and is stranded somewhere across the river from her island in the middle of the night.
Who should show up, but the politician!
"So I guess sometimes a woman absolutely has to be rescued--"
--but he doesn't know how to get back to Manhattan from here-
"--And sometimes a woman absolutely has to rescue a man. At least that's how it ends in this staten island FERRY-tale."
I swear, I only heard it that way this most recent time I watched it. This show keeps giving and giving!
