When we last left the foursome, Carrie is reluctantly engaged, Miranda is reluctantly pregnant, Charlotte is reluctantly separated and Sam is reluctantly in love with Richard.
Charlotte is dealing with her separation by taking a tap class and squashing her feelings. She doesn't want to be alone with her thoughts, which sounds like a good idea. Keep busy, keep moving forward. I don't see anything wrong with this.
Apparently the show thinks that she's not acknowledging her ghost, so it's about to spook her.
Speaking of Spoopy, Carrie is wearing her engagement ring on a chain around her neck, but she's also got about twenty pounds of pearl necklaces there too. (oh my!) Her old friend Susan Sharon shows up in the scene, is excited about her engagement and grabs her hand looking for the rock.
It isn't there, and Carrie gives the old adage "it's closer to my heart this way," which is cute, but would mean a lot more if it weren't surrounded by a metric fuck ton of fake jewelry. Aiden is sitting there, mute, but likely seething beneath that fake smile he just gave.
See, continuing the thread from last episode, Carrie is trying to navigate being engaged on her own terms.
Translation: she -really- doesn't want to be engaged or married or tied down, and is trying her damndest to fake it till she makes it.
And Aiden is putting up with it... for some reason? Why would anyone want to marry someone who clearly doesn't want to get married? :rolls eyes: We will deal with this later.
Oh, huh, the shower scene I described in the last post actually happens in this episode. ooops. So, sometimes I do these things from memory and use the episode as a sort of guide. I actually haven't watched the show since I started doing this, oh two years ago. Soooorrry.
---
Miranda is having her ultrasound! That's so exciting! She's halfway there! :D
(god, I'm such a breeder!)
Well, Miranda, like Carrie, is less than enthused about the whole thing. She doesn't seem to give a shit about any of it. I like that they show a varying representation of women, but she's so cold. It's not like she was still dealing with morning sickness by this point or it's her seventh baby and it's old hat or something, she just literally doesn't give a shit.
When the technician announces that it's a boy, Miranda's like 'huh' and the technician has never had anyone react this way. Er, not react. She says again, "It's a boy!" to coax some kind of a naturally happy reaction from Miranda who -supposedly- wants this baby and Miranda fakes a happy.
There's something in between fake-squeeing with joy for a new baby and having no reaction. Miranda doesn't seem to understand that. I don't think the writers understand that-- of course this is before I entered the Mommy Wars, which have been fighting looong and hard for basically the right for women to Mom however they want. To legitimize all the ways we rear children. Which, for the record, includes differences in emotion about babies and different ways to navigate motherhood, psychologically.
I actually don't know when the Mommy Wars started-- probably not long after the invention of the chat room.
I guess before that, if you did feel any different than constant jubilance about your baby, it might be isolating.
But to feel nothing, it's kind of insulting. She's not a cow, having a baby is emotional.
On the other hand, I'm sure there are women out there who relate, so I'll stop throwing emotional grenades!
She goes off on a walk with Carrie to talk about their shared ambivalence about major events in their life. Carrie, the staunch anti-babby laddy, is more excited about Miranda's future son than Miranda is. Carrie describes her own lack of excitement about her future wedding. Miranda decides the best course of action to solve Carrie's problem is to take her dress shopping at the fucking worst dress shop in Manhattan.
They both decide to try on dresses, which is really fun and supportive. The dresses are terrible, bad shape, bad material. The sleeves on Miranda's dress look like those crepe paper balls that you un-fold and hang from the ceiling at baby showers.
But the terrible dress literally gives Carrie a rash! Clearly the dresses were lined with Formaldehyde. They should sue.
At brunch with the other two, Miranda has to apologize for her apparently shitty idea. I thought it was a cute idea, she couldn't have known that the dresses were lined with Formaldehyde.
Carrie thinks that she's missing the bride gene and Sam pipes up that she doesn't want to get married either.
"Ever?!" Charlotte asks, bewildered, even though she of all people should understand exactly why Sam doesn't want to get married. Sam makes the best not-eye-roll-but-totally-eye-roll face I've seen. So much to unwrap in that face.
Like Charlotte just offered her moldy sandwiches or something.
Carrie asks why anyone gets married ever, excluding the whole dying alone thing.
Oh Carrie. If you have to ask.
Charlotte says that when it was good she felt secure but I feel, even though she is the only one who's been married at the table, she shouldn't be allowed in this conversation. She's about to be divorced from the guy, ffs.
Carrie poo poos her advice anyway, "I feel secure now. And you know what they say, if it ain't broke--"
"Don't marry it!" Sam finishes.
Miranda asks what Carrie thinks would change. Carrie doesn't know, which is fair. This whole conversation is hard. And honestly, this show kills at representing alternate lifestyles. To a fault. I think I already talked about it, but I read an article once about this topic-- about how society trains people to think about the pathway through a relationship. How it's kind of like an escalator and only goes one direction. Going backward isn't really an option, but so many people are stuck like Carrie-- what do you do when you want to de-escalate a relationship without killing it? There isn't a template, it's baffling and confusing if you don't fall in line.
Charlotte explains that lots of brides get Cold Feet.
Carrie rightfully asks why they aren't speaking up.
Miranda asks why Carrie said yes. And Carrie says, "Because I love him. A man you love kneels in the street and offers you a ring, you say yes. That's what you do."
Sam says the only real piece of advice you can take away from this: "Look, you get married you hope for the best. It doesn't work out you get divorced. You can take tap with Bojangles over here."
"No. I can't take a vow of forever-and-ever if what I mean is for-the-forseeable-future. I can't do that to Aiden." Carrie says, tears glistening in her eyes.
"Talk to him about it." Miranda says.
"How?" Carrie replies, "How do you talk about this? It'll break his heart."
Then Charlotte steps in it: "Look, everyone has anxiety about weddings. Maybe your anxiety threshold is just -lower- than other people's."
What the fuck does that mean?
Whatever. That's the end of that brunch. No answers. Of course not.
I still can't decide how I feel about it, and it's been 12 years that I've been watching this show and thinking about it.
I just... don't relate to her problem. I can't fathom it. I can't fathom being with someone and not *being* with them, all in. All or nothing.
He wants to take the risk, he's out on a ledge and doesn't realize he's alone with his feelings. You know, like Carrie was with Big back in season 1. Only, she sees him there and doesn't want to go there with him.
This'll end well.
Carrie decides to buy a smattering of bridal magazines -instead of pack of cigarettes- and reads them while Aiden is next door hammering through the wall.
This is a literal -and figurative- hammering.
Carrie wonders what type of bride she could be as she looks at the pictures of all the happy ladies in their happy dresses. And as she's looking panic is setting in. Her anxiety is shooting up at the same rate of the volume from Aiden's shitty loud chaotic music coming through the hole he's smashing through.
"Aiden! Aiden! Stop!" She shouts as she rushes over to the other apartment to tell him in person.
"I'm freaking out! I can't. I cannot! I'm having a very strong reaction to all this!"
He thinks she's talking about the wall going down, but of course she's not. Well, not literally anyway.
"I love you and I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to talk about this, but, but I have to."
He has her sit on the floor, and she's in a groveling position. "I didn't want to say anything, but then that thing came through my wall." My wall. My wall. After all this. Ugh. Just when I was starting to maybe see her perspective.
Groan.
He is a little more forgiving, says he doesn't want to rush her into it. He suggests they wait, "six months? nine months? end of the year?"
"Which year?" she asks.
He looks wounded, but says "Ok, Ok, we'll get there."
Ugh, now I'm not on his side either. It's not a destination. Once you're married it's not over. What is he on? If he wants to be with her, he should just be with her. She doesn't want to break up, she just doesn't want to get married.
Later. Later. :exhale: I know. We'll get there.
---
Miranda has to fake a happy with her cleaning lady, Magda. Magda has found the sonogram and brought it to her to ask about the sex of the baby and she's absolutely thrilled about it.
After she sets the picture down, Miranda accidentally puts her coffee mug on top. oop.
--
Charlotte is in tap class again, avoiding 'tapping' into her feelings about the matter. Doing an avoid-Dance, if you will. The piano has started up and it's Tea for Two, which is a couples dance.
When it's her turn to dance through with a partner, she doesn't want to go without a dance partner.
"Just go it alone!" The tap teacher is encouraging.
"I don't want to go it alone."
And then she finally just gives in and throws an enormous tantrum about it, "I can't do this I'm sorry I can't. And I shouldn't have to! I deserve a real partner! And this song is Abusive and Hurtful!"
Meanwhile the piano is still going, "Should I stop?" The piano lady asks. She does stop.
Charlotte doesn't, "...And you should think about how a person would feel who's going through a very difficult divorce and who comes here to have fun and feel good about themselves!"
And finally she's done shouting at the dozen or so innocent bystanders in front of her. oooop.
And she runs away.
They all go to a party for something. It's some PR thing for Sam to confront Richard about her feelings for him. They are conveniently in black and white formal dress.
So, I don't really want to talk about Richard and Sam. I thought when I started these things I'd have so many things to talk about with them. but I don't. I think I was done after the whole 'goldicocks' thing got established and that's all he's been. A dick.
Well, Miranda and Charlotte and Carrie are entertaining themselves at the party. Carrie says the most memorable line in the episode:
"Miranda, Do you realize you're growing a teeny tiny penis inside you? It's so sci-fi!"
LOLOL
Charlotte hops on the 'OMG YOU'RE HAVING A BOY!!' train, and Miranda has had e-fucking-nough with people being excited about this legitimately exciting event. She does the ol' fake smile for good measure. But she's done.
Oh, and the other memorable line from the episode happens from Sam about Richard: "I think I have monogamy!! I must have caught it from you people!"
LOL again.
That's enough fun good times. Carrie and Aiden leave the party. Aiden is in a tux and Carrie's in a white get up that looks remarkably like a wedding dress. But no rash! See, I told you the dress was lined with Formaldehyde!
Aiden suggests that since they're all dressed up already, they should just get married tonight. Hop on a plane to Vegas and get married. No muss, no fuss.
Carrie is decidedly Not on board with this idea.
He wonders what the big deal is.
"I'm not ready for marriage." Carrie insists.
"Well I am. I'm sorry if that scares you, but I am." Aiden continues: "People fall in love, they get married that's what they do."
"Not necessarily." Carrie rebuts. She asks why they can't just live together.
"I don't want to live together!!" Aiden throws a mini temper tantrum. "I've had girlfriends for twenty years I want you to be my wife."
"Aiden, you're pushing me."
"Well, maybe you need to be pushed." Aiden is acting like a child. "What's the big deal? it's just a stupid piece of paper!"
"If it's just a piece of paper, then why do we need it?!" Carrie finally gets to the heart of things.
"Because I need it!" Aiden shouts. "I want to make this official and lock this thing down. Carrie, I want the whole wide world to know that you're mine."
"Who else's would I be?" Carrie asks and then Aiden gives her a look. "Omg, you still don't trust me."
"You don't even wear that ring on your fucking finger."
At that, there's really not much else to say. Course, that doesn't stop them.
She can't marry him to make him trust her, she says. He states that she won't ever want to marry him if she doesn't want to marry him right now.
I don't know how to feel about that. On one hand, he's probably right. On the other, he has so many goddamn issues here, it's exhausting. He should never have invited her back into his life. It's just a huge mistake.
He says that he's going to sleep on the other side of the wall. "I can't believe I'm back here again." he says and he backs away from her while she realizes that he's put up his own wall and they are separated.
--
At Miranda's, she's felt her baby kick for the first time and finally realizes that it's a real baby in there. Some sort of connect is formed. She's navigating her own way through motherhood and I guess I can't fault her too much for that.
--
That night, Carrie goes to lie with Aiden even though he's sleeping on a few blankets on the floor. He takes her in his arms, but it's over.
"That was the only night we would ever spend on the other side of the wall." Narrator Carrie narrates.
And that's it. That's the end. Of the episode and of Carrie and Aiden.
Fucking Finally.
I'll hopefully get back to a more regular schedule now! See you next week!
