Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Season 3 Episode 2: Politically Erect

... And I'm back! :D

Sorry it's been awhile, I've been dealing with a lot of post-election depression and fatigue and the thought of doing these was like facing a mountain.  Compounded to that was the fact that the episode itself is political in nature.  But then!  Then I remembered the Mr Politico in question likes to be peed on and it made the whole thing so much easier to take.





:ahem:

We left off with Carrie beginning to date Politician running for Controller (or comptroller and I realize I've been mis-hearing this title for years).  Whatever that is.  I'm going to assume that it's the guy in charge of testing all the BDSM equipment in all the sex shops in his district.

That sounds about right.  That sounds like it requires honest, bipartisan oversight and a committee.

And so many safe words.

Carrie has abandoned her life and fallen right into his.  She is being pulled from one political event to another, wearing nice clothes and sounding like a real dummy about politics.  Narrator Carrie is currently comparing fashion to politics.



It feels like maybe the political climate we've been in for the last 8 years has sort of sucked all the fun out of this. I'm just gonna breeze by this, cause I can't.

We were so young back then, so naive.

We thought we could just get along.

The foursome are having a "political" talk wherein they rate presidents by how fuckable they are. Narrator Carrie seems to think that this counts as talking politics.

Course, I can't disagree with Sam here: "The country runs better with a good-looking man in the white house.  Look at Nixon.  No one wanted to fuck him, so he fucked everyone."





Then Carrie helpfully adds that the president needs to wear a hat.

The jokes just write themselves don't they?

She mentions FDR and how good a president he was because of his hat and rather than bring up a real-life terrible thing that he did :cough: Japanese internment camps :cough: Miranda says "He was so busy picking out a hat he forgot to get us into the war"

This is making me tired.

Miranda is confronted by Steve in the previous scene.  He wants to see her exclusively, and is completely open about his wants and needs.  She therefore rejects him for being too open. Well, she's ambivalent anyway. She talks on the street with Carrie about her ambivalence and Carrie gives her pretty good advice.  She says she should write a list of pros and cons. (foreshadow). Miranda says that she doesn't want to be so judgemental, and Carrie reminds her that she is judgemental.


They use the phrase "political in a relationship" when they really mean "navigating the feelings of the significant other" And I think it's just the age of the program, but it feels slightly off.  The term Politically Correct has gained such an emotional charge in modern society that it is really strange to see it used in it's original use.  Not that the definition has changed significantly for the people who *ARE* politically correct (or, not being an asshole on purpose), but that politically charged nature of the term is unavoidable now.

Certain people hear the term and immediately think of all the stuff Fox News told them to think about what it is. Or you know:


 
It's unfortunate we can't even talk about it anymore.

Speaking of Politically Incorrect, Sam is at a bar doing her usual hook-up routine.  She is hit on by the guy next to her and seems intrigued.  He is suave and straight-forward and bold. She takes the bait-- until he stands up and is barely tall enough to clear her nipples.

("That just might be the perfect height!")

She can't just, I dunno, forget that he hit on her and move on with her life.  She's in a quandary and must ask her friends what they think.  They first have to decide the right term for a shorter-than-average man who is not a proper little person.  I think there must be a chart somewhere, but Jesus, this guy is not that short.  The actress who plays Sam is 5'7" and I'm sure they must have put her in higher-than-normal heels because the actor who plays "Jeff" is only 5'4".  That is not that short.

(Maybe I'm taking it personally because my husband and I are about the same height at 5'5")

Back to the story: They are presently at a political fundraiser for Carrie's boyfriend, which isn't lost on them that their conversation is incredibly politically incorrect.

During a lull in their conversation, Charlotte takes the opportunity to go mingle with all the important (read: single and rich) donors.  She meets a man who is cute and fun and flirty and... who has a significant other.  :( She tells Charlotte that they met at a party where women bring men that they are no longer interested in.  This gives Charlotte a great idea! "One woman's trash is another woman's treasure!" (she sloppily says drunkenly)

Miranda is dealing with writing up her pro/con list about Steve.  His bad jokes made the con side I just can't even with her.   Bad jokes are the best!


Course, his joke was... not really a joke.  So.

In a random scene Sam says to random lady (who, fun fact, actually shows up in a later season as Miranda's baby nurse) "I don't believe in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. I just believe in Parties."







Stanford and Carrie are mingling in another part of the party.  Mr Politico comes by to say hi to Carrie briefly.  Carrie introduces him to Stanford.

"Hello.  I represent the queer vote. If you can carry Chelsea, you've got the city locked up."

"I'm not worried about Chelsea. Have you seen my ass?"

"Got my vote!"



 Stanford catches the eye of a cute guy, a guy who works with Mr. Politico on the campaign. He asks Carrie to set him up with him. Carrie asks how he knows whether he is gay, and Stanford reveals that he's seen him rollerblading in the park, Carrie gives him an eyebrow and he responds:  "What? That's enough!"

Carrie goes over to ask whether he's interested in Stanford at all, and the guy looks over and mistakes Stanford for a blond guy with big arms.  Carrie corrects him, and points out how nice and sweet Stanford is, despite his lack of muscles, but the guy says he would rather go out with the blond muscular man.  oh well.  Carrie walks back and lies to Stanford about the guy's sexuality.  She says it's to be politically correct, but it's really just to spare his feelings.  I don't know how it will spare his feelings because eventually Stanny is going to see the guy rollerblading with blond muscular guy in the park.

Later on, after the party, Carrie is in bed with Mr Politico where he reveals that he likes to have women pee on him.

Carrie is most certainly not OK with doing that.

Her friends aren't surprised in the least that a political guy with a thirst for power (at least over the safety of the BDSM equipment in the city) would want to be peed on.

Charlotte says that if Carrie can't work it out with him, that she should bring him to the party she's throwing. "Everyone is bringing someone they're no longer interested in."  Sam offers to bring her short guy.

"Oh yeah, that's terrific! You're dating a munchkin and I've got to follow the yellow brick road" Carrie says one of her very few quips of the episode.

Carrie avoids bringing it up with her boyfriend.  She's absolutely terrified of it.  I can't decide if she's terrified of bringing it up because it's a taboo subject, or if she's just terrified of communicating with men she's dating in general.  She clearly had no trouble gabbing about it with her girlfriends.

They are at an Indian restaurant which boasts the spiciest curry in the city and she won't drink any water for fear that she might have to pee later. She is dying from the heat and the spice, and refuses water that is offered to her.  He tells her that he can't spend the night with her, and she immediately downs a whole glass of water.

---

At Charlotte's party, Carrie brings Stanford ("You're making a mockery of my party!" says Charlotte) Miranda doesn't bring Steve, but uses the party as an opportunity to see who else is on the market, and Sam brings her short dude.  She doesn't tell him the point of the party, but he finds out from some lady.

He gets annoyed and confronts Sam.  It doesn't take long for her to be honest about her misgivings about his height.  "Give me two hours in the sack, and you'll swear I'm the jolly green giant!"

So, she does.  And he's good.

Charlotte meets a sexy -available- man.  They hit it off and she's having a wonderful time with him.  But then his ex-girlfriend sees him all shiny and new and decides she's taking him back.

oop.


Meanwhile, Miranda and Steve are doing it.  Afterward, Steve reminds her that he's not looking for an answer right away about the exclusive thing, and then reiterates that he adores her and thinks she's the bee's knees.

Apparently it was enough to throw out her old pro/con list and take his offer.

--
At a restaurant, Sam and the short guy are having dinner when he excuses himself to go the "little boy's room." He leaves his coat on his chair and she reads the tag, which is labeled 'Boy's Department' and is suddenly overwhelmed by that thought.  She goes to leave, claims illness, and the short guy is straight with her, and asks her what her problem is *really.*

"You shop in the boy's department."

"So what?! The clothes fit me better.  Plus they're cheaper! Where do you shop, the big and tall whore store?"

This makes her laugh, and she responds, playfully, "You know? You're nothing but a big dick with a little man attached."

"And you're nothing but a pair of tits with too much extra leg room" He responds with a smile.  This makes her roar with laughter and so she goes back to finish her meal with him.

"Hey! Somebody get me a booster chair!" He continues the jokes.

Narrator Carrie stresses the importance of her finding someone who makes her laugh, but they only date for two weeks after that.  So.. not that important.  ><

--

In the penultimate scene, Carrie finally confronts Mr Politico about his golden shower fantasy.  He's actually in the shower, and has invited her in.

She reminds him that it's totally cool that being peed on is his kink, but it isn't hers and she is less than comfortable with the whole thing.

Rather than being mature about it, he is embarrassed and responds by breaking up with her.  Well, he says that people surrounding the campaign found out that she's a sex columnist and think it's bad for his image as a politician.  (And here I thought for a comptroller that would be a boon!)

She's like, "I may be a sex columnist, but you like women to pee on you!"

"Yeah, but nobody knows about that."





Carrie is gobsmacked.

In the final scene, she writes in her little laptop about Mr Politico and the pee pee, sends him to the recycle bin on her desktop, and then Mr Politico himself is seen holding a newspaper with the headline "To pee or not to pee" and he is completely and utterly ruined.

Narrator Carrie says she did what she did out of bravery and honesty.  Um, yeah. No.  You did it out of revenge and spite.

What a bunch of fucking children.

...And that's it!  Thanks for reading!  I'll hopefully be back next week for another episode!