Season 5 Episode 2 Unoriginal Sin

So, one side-effect of a season without mans is a season without inspiration for Carrie.  Remember how she's still writing that relationship column?  Yeah, me neither.

Welp, that's the opening.  Just a blank document.  That's like every writer's worst nightmare.

She's decided to turn to her friends at brunch, but none of them have mans either.

Or ideas.

She's resorted to writing about socks.  Socks and the City.  See, now, I would read that.

Who the hell am I kidding? I would write that.  XD

But no, it's 2001 and knitting is passe still.

Sam admits that she didn't even read Carrie's latest investigative journalism piece on Finding the Perfect french fry.

She's become irrelevant, and she's avoiding her editor because of it.

This'll go well.

Miranda tries to make her feel better by saying she never misses an episode, and Sam complains "You have a little man hanging from your breast, what else are you going to do?!" and Miranda says simply "eat" and it's so fucking awkward for anyone who doesn't know how ravenous one gets while nursing.

Actually its just awkward.

Carrie's still complaining, "I'm not getting laid, therefore I'm getting laid off."  Geez, she needs a fucking hobby.

Charlotte offers to take her trolling for men in the park.  Sam orders the fruit plate and admits that she's decided to get back together with Richard all in one breath.

wh- wh- what?!

Sam explains that he explained it all away.  He was scared and that's what made him slip his thingy inside her hoo haw.

Then Charlotte creates the best Gif in the whole show:

 LOL forever.

Sam says it's difficult for men to admit they have feelings.

Miranda says she correctly identifies her feelings all the time, but it doesn't excuse her for being an asshole if she's being an asshole.

Sam rationalizes the whole thing-- "some men can't be bothered to pick up the dry cleaning" Therefore, cheating on her is Richard's flaw.

Miranda is irate about it and I don't blame her.

Sam insists that Richard was being genuine and she's giving him another chance.


So now Carrie has a supreme idea for an article, "Desperate women who'll believe anything."

--

At Chez Miranda, she and Steve are covering outlets and locking the toilets.  Their baby is like 1 month old, this is ridiculous.

Steve tells Miranda that he thinks they should get the baby baptized.  Miranda is an atheist and she doesn't want to.

Honestly that should be it, but Steve presses that they're covering outlets even though the baby can't crawl yet.  So therefore they should protect the baby's soul from turning into a flying head with wings.

I.. got nothing.

She acquiesces.  It's just water on the baby's head in the end.

Course, she has to pick a godmother for it.  So, she chooses Carrie.

Carrie thinks she should go with someone more maternal, like Charlotte.  Also, she says she's about one bad date away from bitter.

But Miranda insists that Carrie should do it.

I'm getting ahead of myself a little bit.

The reason Carrie is even thinking about her state of bitterness is because her editor finally found her and... They want to make a book out of her columns! :O

So, the show has come full circle back to the book. crazy pants. She meets with these potential publishers, and they need her to write an opening for the book-- something that sets the tone.  Hopeful or... should the publishers just shoot themselves now?

Carrie has to put her best fake smile on.. yeah, hopeful!  There's someone out there for everyone. For sure.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

So, Carrie is deep in pessimism when Miranda asks her to take on the role.

I don't know what hope v. pessimism has to do with being a godmother, but whatever.  No one is expecting her to do magic or anything.  She already *has* that role, if you think about it.

--

Oy, I forgot about Charlotte.  During their trolling at the park party, Charlotte points out that Carrie is way too cynical.  She won't have imaginary sex with any of the men who they see walk by!

Why, I never!

So, She invites Carrie to see a motivational speaker that Charlotte has been obsessed with.  Carrie doesn't see why she'd go to it.

"Because you're becoming pessimistic?"

"See, that's why I wouldn't go."

She's got a point.

Well, they go together.  And the whole place is a nut.

They get little affirmations as they walk in, and Carrie openly mocks them.

"Are you going to make fun of everything?" Charlotte asks.

"No, I'm not that quick."

I love Pessimist Carrie.  I wish she'd stick around.  She seems like she'd be great at parties.

Carrie tells Charlotte off-handedly that Miranda asked Carrie to be godmother and Charlotte is upset because Carrie isn't taking it seriously.  And she isn't taking the motivational speaker seriously either.

The motivational speaker lady is talking and saying absolutely nothing of value.  The point of the whole thing is to find love, and essentially how if you don't have a man it's you're fault.  It's really shitty, tbh.  Some woman in the audience (probably a plant) raises her hand to brag about how she found a husband thanks to the motivational speaker.

See, I told you she was a plant.  What was she *doing* there if she's happily with a dude?  Did she really go just to brag about it and make the women there feel bad about not being successful with men. Never mind, I wouldn't put it past her.

So, Charlotte is emboldened by the question-asker to talk about her own problems.

She says that she feels like she's losing hope because she believed so hard that she'd find love if she sent love out into the world (or whatever the affirmations are supposed to be about). She did find a man and it completely fell apart.  She sort of blames the motivational speaker for losing her optimism and not finding a new love now, and I honestly don't blame her.

It's sort of like the whole Joshua Harris 'I kissed dating goodbye' purity culture bullshit from when I was a teenager.  That shit fucked up so many young women (and probably men, too), especially the ones who actually waited to have sex and date and then their marriages fell apart or became abusive.  He *promised* that god would bless them and a lot of them just ended up divorced or abused or disenfranchised. Just sadfaces all over.

The motivational speaker lady is not deterred.  She is adamant that Charlotte just doesn't believe enough, and that if she really believed that she'll find a man.

Carrie stands up for her friend (even though Charlotte is mad at her).  If anyone is the hopeful optimist, it's Charlotte and how very dare this woman suggest she's not trying hard enough.

here here!

I daresay I like Carrie a lot in this episode.

Miranda, meanwhile, is navigating a very frustrating ordeal.  She has to go to a church and talk to a priest about the baptism, she has to meet Steve's mother, and on top of everything she has to buy little Brady a dress for the baptism.

Oh the humanity!

At the baptism in the end, Carrie asks Miranda once and for all whether Carrie is maybe too cynical to be godmother. "Not compared to me."  Miranda says and insists that she do it since Carrie is her best friend.

Miranda also says, "I don't know if I believe in any of it, but I believe in you. I want you to be my baby's godmother." And they both have tears in their eyes and it's sweet.

"Well, I did spring for the hat." Carrie replies very cutely.

In the end, Carrie gets some of the holy water on her arm and thinks maybe it washed off some of her original "sinicism".

--

At Sam's end, well, maybe her middle, she talks to Richard about the past indiscretions.  He lamely rationalizes them all away and then gives Sam a big ol' diamond ring, but not *that* kind of diamond ring.

Her friends actually did plant a seed or two of doubt in her mind.  So, she's on her guard around him.  She forces him to go to church with her, to Brady's baptism, and while there he recites one of the catholic whatstits with the rest of the Catholic people present and somehow that makes him look more respectable to Sam's eye for some reason.

At the after party, Richard approaches Miranda to tell her that he really was scared.

"Ok, whatever. Thanks for coming." She says the only thing she can at that point.  Awkward.

Sam leaves with him, and Miranda says to the other two, "He's such a player."

Charlotte has regained her optimistic composure, "I dunno, maybe things'll work out between them." and Carrie almost chokes on her cake.

Carrie spends the last moment dedicating her book to her friend Charlotte "The eternal optimist who always believes in love."

d'aww.

I enjoyed that episode a lot more than I have in previous viewings.

Thanks for reading along and Happy Thanksgiving! <3

Season 5 Episode 1 Anchors Away

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Season 4 Episode 18 I Heart New York

Soooo. This episode is kinda hard to snark-- it's sweet and I daresay Carrie is almost relatable here.

It's the season finale, and according to the show writers is a love letter to New York.  I think that the remainder of the show is a love letter to New York-- the writer's have always had a Stockholm Syndrom-like affinity for the city that always reeks.  (I assume)  And after 9/11 we all got kinda crazy and the show reflects that in an embarrassing way in the next episode. But I'm getting ahead of myself.  We're not talking about next episode yet.

This episode is the one where the show gives the audience Amnesia about Big.  It's funny how much more people love you when you are leaving.

:record scratch:

You heard that right! Big is getting out of dodge and moving as far away from Carrie as he can get-- Napa, California.

How does Carrie find this out?  If you thought Big told her over the phone then you haven't been paying attention.

The show starts with Carrie putting a blanket on her bed.  She's cold, cause Fall is finally coming to New York for the first time in 5 years.  It reminds her of how lonely she's been since Aiden left and she decides to give Big a ring. Err. A phone call.

It must be late, cause he checks his watch before picking up and they have a cute little back-and-forth like old times.  She decides to come over and brings him a pizza.  It must be really late at this point.  Carrie really is rude sometimes-- calling after bedtime is bad enough, but inviting yourself over is too much.  But Big's OK with it, so I guess it's OK.

She is stunned when she walks through his door-- all the furniture is gone and there's a bunch of boxes about.

And this is how she finds out the bastard is leaving. Did I say this episode would be difficult to snark? What was I thinking?!

He still has his vinyls out and a player, so they dance to Moon River and it is slow and sexy and sweet and you think that Carrie might just forget that he *wasn't going to tell her that he's leaving until he already left* and sleep with the dude.

Did I say that this show gives you amnesia?  I think the amnesia is wearing off.

Fortunately the record starts skipping and Carrie is shaken from his spell and leaves.  She leaves him the pizza which is sweet.  There's nothing like leftover pizza for breakfast.

Next day she is at brunch with the foursome discussing whether she should have 'Going out of Business' sex with Big.

"No." Miranda says with a belly full of baby.

Actually she says it three times, and the timing is kind of perfect:

"OK Quick draw give it a second here"

"No."

"We like each other. We respect each other.* It could be nice, romantic."

"hmm. No."

*How is Big respectful of Carrie?  He didn't even Tell her that he was Leaving.

So Miranda and I are team Don't Do It, Do You Have Amnesia? What Are You Thinking?

Sam is team If The Sex Is Nice, Who Cares?

Charlotte chimes in with worry about her getting pulled back in to "all that Big stuff"

"He's not Niagara Falls!" Carrie says.

"Isn't he?" Miranda points out. (rightly)

"I love you sweety," Carrie talks directly to the audience, "but you're not giving me any credit.  This is not 2 years ago.  Things have changed, I'm different now, Big and I are different now."

I can't tell if ultimately she's trying to convince Miranda, the Audience, or herself.

It's not working on me, (or Miranda) I can tell you that much.

Carrie goes on to talk about how safe she feels around the dude who was going to disappear without a trace, and how he was a Great Love in her life and he's leaving.

It's the first time the show uses the term Great Love and it's Important for the next season.  It's next season's "Big Bad"  err.. Bad Big?

"You had sex with Steve!" Charlotte points out Miranda's hypocrisy, but Miranda points to her swollen belly.  Checkmate!

Writer Carrie's exposition has to do with fate, and the stars and how you can't see the stars in New York so it's no wonder everyone is lost.

erhm.. Honey, he wasn't going to tell you he was leaving.  That is the only important thing you need to know about this-- it wasn't fate that brought you to his door before he left.  It was dumb luck.  He's a bad man.

"Make the Bad Man Fly!"

She decides to go on one last hurrah with the bad dude.  But first she needs some new shoes.  She picks the ugliest pair I've ever seen, but good for her.  Whatever.

--
Sam and Richard are about to meet a firey end.

oop, wrong show. No dragons here.

Sam is upset because Richard doesn't love her the way she wants to be loved.  It's tearing her up inside because she didn't actually think she needed love-- but it turns out the heart wants what it wants.

He won't hang up the picture of the hearts she gave him.  She freaks out in the least Sam-like way imaginable.  It is so far out of character I kind of hate it.

She becomes this jealous raging harpy, hell bent on forcing him to love her.  He needed to end it as soon as she started acting this way, but instead he decides to cheat on her.

At their end, Sam finds him between her legs in the porniest porn pose ever.  It would have been funny if it weren't for Sam throwing the heart picture across the room, shattering it.  Oh wait, that was funny.

She's also in a wig, and Richard didn't even recognize her at first.

Here seems like a good place to talk about Charlotte.  She doesn't have a huge role in the episode.  She's working her job as a docent at the MOMA when who should show up but her Ex and his Mother, Bunny.

She quickly moves the tour group through the exhibit and away from the land mine who -detests- Monet.  What kind of a monster Detests Monet??!

She quickly accepts a date from a dude who had worked up the courage to ask her before Trey and his mother showed up.  She's totally over Trey now. mmhmm. yep.

The date doesn't work out so well.  Charlotte is quite Rich at this point, and the dude cannot handle it.  So right before Charlotte ushers him out of her abode, he shouts "It goes all the way back there?!" and Charlotte is right back where she started. Well, at least she put herself out there.
--

Steve and Miranda are putting together the crib. I'll never understand these sorts of scenes-- these boxed furnitures are not that difficult to assemble.  I watched this episode with the Commentary on one time, and he said that the role of 'dude' in these situations is being played by Miranda.  It makes me shake my damn head in frustration.  I don't understand why she didn't just assemble the thing herself.  It's what I would do.

Blah.

It's not really about the crib, it's a pretext for Steve and Miranda to talk about the future name of their son.  Steve suggests "Paul" and Miranda mentally vetoes it and says she wants to name him "Danny."  she should have gone with that.  Danny Brady is much better than Brady Brady. Or Brady Hobbes-Brady or Brady Brady-Hobbes (you know when they eventually get married in the sixth season, oop Spoilers!)

Did Miranda forget that Steve's last name was Brady when she named him?  Is the amnesia spreading? Why doesn't Steve say anything?  Obviously Miranda hasn't taken two seconds to think about how Brady will feel about being named after his father's surname, even accidentally.  It's quite bizarre if you ask me.

After Miranda tells Steve the name of their son, Steve starts crying and Miranda tells him to stop.

Shut the fuck up Miranda.  He's allowed to be emotional about his future child.

--

The morning before their Big date, Carrie has to ask permission from Miranda.  She says she's decided to sleep with Big, "...If it feels right.  So put that in your pipe and smoke it!"

"Well you're a big girl." Miranda has given up.  I mean, it's the healthiest thing to do.  Plus, she has more important things to worry about. Her Braxton hicks are a little less Braxton a little more Early Labor.  But she doesn't know that yet.

Miranda asks Carrie if she'll be there for the birth, and Carrie can't refuse.  Off-screen she gives her a spare cell phone because Carrie hasn't bought herself one yet even though Miranda told her to buy one at the Birthday Fiasco in Episode 1 of this season.

And then she's off on her whirlwind date with Big.  She goes all out: Dinner and Dancing followed by a lovely romantic carriage ride through the city.  And just as she starts snogging the bad dude, her phone rings and it's Miranda and she's in labor.

Carrie should have pulled a her and had sex with him on the way to dinner.  Their sex plans are completely spoiled by Miranda, mwahahaha, just as she planned.  Probably.

Instead of leaving the park and grabbing a cab, Big tells the hansom cab driver to take them to the hospital.  He's not allowed to leave the park, but Big gives him a lot of money to break the law.

This is just so stupid.  It's supposed to be romantic, I think, but really it's irksome.  Big is such an asshole.

ANYWAY.

Now it's time for Carrie's shoes to meet a watery end.

oop, wrong show again!  No dragons here!

Almost as soon as Carrie comes in the room, Miranda's water breaks all over Carrie's fancy new shoes.

Why didn't Carrie stop at home first and change?  Labor can last awhile, especially for first babies.  She show has the labor lasting through the night and well into the next day. That's a long time to be stuck in 4 inch stilettos.  Just saying.

So, Next day Miranda poops out a kid and it's perfectly Miranda the way she does it.  She doesn't like the 'push push, you can do it, cheerleader shit' so when the nurse goes nuts over how perfect little Brady is Carrie tells her kindly to stop.  Good friend.

Although that nurse is a good nurse.  I figure once you've seen a handful of births the novelty kind of wears off.

Steve is there, emotional, where Miranda is stoically looking at her baby.  I know at a certain point she'll bond with him, but it isn't now.  She's holding him as if it isn't her baby and it's making me sad for her.  Miranda tells Steve about the name change, and Steve starts crying again.  Miranda looks to Carrie who tells Steve to stop.

He's Allowed To Be Emotional.  Gods.  Someone should be about this GD baby. Fuck.

Carrie rushes from the hospital after an appropriate amount of oohing and aahing over the baby.  She meets Charlotte in the waiting room and tells her all about how teeny little Brady is and how he has red hair like his Mom. Charlotte appropriately squees and Sam shows up, still in her wig.

"Why are you wearing that wig?" Charlotte asks her.

"Because my hair under it looks like shit." Sam says like it's obvious she was just spying on her now-ex-boyfriend.

"Miranda has a son." Charlotte side steps that whole topic.

"Just what the world needs, another man." Sam says and they both go to see the bouncing baby boy.

Carrie is late to see Big.  For some reason she has the ability to just walk into the now-vacant apartment. In the background is that big red wall of yore.

Big has left a note for her though.

It's the vinyl they were listening to, and the words "If you ever feel lonely-"

There's also an envelope "If I ever feel lonely" and it's plane tickets to California.

The music turns back to Moon River and Carrie goes out to the sidewalk and interacts with a stunningly obvious CG leaf.

Oh, I just got it.  Big is Leafing.  XD

Narrator Carrie talks about how the new season has officially begun.

uh.. nope, it's the finale.

"Maybe our mistakes make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love or have babies or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do Cities. People come into your life, and people go. But it's comforting to know, the ones you love are always in your heart and, if you're very lucky, a plane ride away."

3 things.

1) Most people don't consider falling in love an accident or mistake.

2) Some, no I daresay most people who have them, plan on having babies. XD

3) Carrie doesn't fly.  We'll learn this next season when she takes a train for three horrible days rather than fly to California.

In conclusion, I think this episode is a really good set-up for the events in the next two seasons.  Mistakes making your fate is the theme of the next episode as well, although I think it's done better then.  There's a better metaphor anyway.

For all my bitching, I do like this season a lot.

I hope you'll join me next time for the fifth season premiere!  Hopefully  I can get through the season quickly, there are only 8 episodes. Should take me... mmm, about 6 months. XD

Love you guys! thanks for reading!

Season 4 Episode 17 A Vogue Idea

The episode synopsis on amazon is hilarious: "Carrie begins her new job with 'Vogue' magazine, but is shocked when she receives some editorial advice."

That really says it all.  She thought she'd waltz into a new job at Vogue and fit right in with her purse puns.  Now, I adore purse puns (no pursing my lips here!) but her editor just wants vague copy.  Less like her articles, more like an advertisement.

As much as I love watching Carrie knocked down a peg or two, I think that's a waste of some good writing talent.  Seamlessly weaving in a few puns here and there in a fashion magazine is absolutely worth the extra $2.50 a word they're paying her.

Oh, and how fabulous does Carrie look with her new season 5 haircut?  A whole two episodes early!

Smashing!

After being completely eviscerated by her new older-lady-boss-editor, Enid, her other new older-gent-boss-editor, Julien takes pity on her and decides to mentor her in his office.  Mentor her with shots.  XD

He calls her "cookie" and immediately I don't like him.  But Carrie is feeling much too drunk and sorry for herself to notice that he's not so much mentoring as Creeping.

--

Sam is feeling creeped out as well.  She finally got Richard to say the Love word, but he's still cruising for other chicks in front of her.  Read the room, dude!

His birthday is coming up, and Sam wants to give him something great, but all he wants is a threesome with their twenty-year-old waitress.  hot.  Sam doesn't think so, but she's put between a hard place and well, a hard place, and reluctantly invites the twenty-year-old waitress to bed with them.

She rationalizes it with the foursome by saying at least it's not a hooker he wants.

"These are the options?!" Charlotte distresses.

Samantha explains that it's just a fantasy he has, and at least she's part of it.  And then Charlotte explains the fantasy for anyone not paying attention "Yeah, the fantasy being he's attracted to someone young enough to be his daughter."

And then Sam explains the very real inversely related problem that men and women have when it comes to age.  Men get better looking as they age while women are cast off by 35.  It really isn't fair.

Charlotte says that she should be careful fulfilling a man's fantasy "Cause if it blows up, you're just the idiot who did it with him on the golf course, or something."

 Nice save, Char.

Then Miranda shows up late to talk about real problems.  She's pretty far along in her pregnancy and can't find time to shop for baby essentials. She laments there ought to be a place that sells just *one* crib and they send home helpers to help you raise your child.  Honestly, she's overthinking this.  The first few months you don't even need a crib, a laundry basket or spare drawer will suffice.  XD

 "When am I supposed to find time to prepare for this baby? I don't have a vague idea how I'm going to do any of this!"

"Well I don't have a Vogue Idea!" (CARRIE SAID THE NAME OF THE THING IN THE THING!)

Charlotte offers her expertise, and more suitably, offers to throw her a baby shower.

Miranda *hates* baby showers.  She agrees to have one though, as long as she can have fried chicken and no shower games or anything baby.  No storks!

Later on, Charlotte goes over to Miranda's house to talk about the shower. Instead of expertise (why Charlotte would have any more expertise then, say, Samantha is beyond me), Charlotte badgers Miranda about how there are a ton of sharp edges in her apartment and it is completely unsuitable for a newborn baby who clearly has a magnet in his head for sharp edges.  She asks Miranda a bunch of, eh, maybe valid questions about what type of mother she wants to be.

"I want to be... A good mother!" Miranda says. Good answer, I say.  That's the most important part.  You'll pick everything else up as you go.

"No, a marsupial mom or a stroller mom? Breast feeding or bottle feeding?"  These are not the most important questions Charlotte.

You're being kind of a dick here.

There are many many more topics raised here that are really overwhelming for Miranda and in about 3 months will be completely laughable to her.  Where the baby sleeps, for example.  She hadn't thought about where the crib would go when the baby outgrows the bassinet.

This is making my inner parent roll my eyes So hard. That's like, 2-4 months down the road.  She'll get there Charlotte.  All these little details don't matter.  Let's get through labor first.  Everyone starts at the beginning.

It's evident that Charlotte is hiding her very raw jealousy toward Miranda.  She wants so much to be happy for her friend and to help her, but this is Not helping.  Miranda gets extremely defensive and the show plays it like she's in the wrong, but I don't see it that way at all.  Despite what Charlotte says about "letting other people in," Miranda is basically on her own from here on out.  She'll get some support from Steve, Magda and to a lesser extent, her friends but they'll have No Idea.  She's on her own and she is in a vulnerable position and Charlotte is poking at it.

Not cool, Charlotte.  Not cool.

In fact, Charlotte is going WAAAY overboard with this baby shower.  She keeps calling Miranda at work to ask inane queries.  She's eschewed Mother-to-be's desire for fried chicken, and insists there ought to be a stork.

"You keep this up you're going to have a shower without a Mommy!" Miranda has had enough.

"Miranda, You better show up. I'm not getting stuck with a bunch of lawyers who, if they're anything like you won't even appreciate a beautiful Putenesca!"

"Watch out for the sharp edges!" Miranda calls out as Charlotte exits the scene.  I think this might be the best line in the episode.  XD

 In a true friend moment, Carrie talks Miranda down.  They have a very real, warm heart to heart about what this kid is in for being raised without a father figure.  Carrie thinks that she has a father figure and it's Miranda.  She has a point, and I like it.  It gives Miranda a new perspective, anyway.

Carrie was raised in a home with a dad who split and is bolstered by the fact that Miranda had a father who was present in her life and she has no idea about men either.

Carrie had been discussing father figures with her Creepy-Mentor-boss-man who thinks that not having a father-figure completely fucked her up in regards to dealing with men.  So put that in your pipe and smoke it!

[Cannon note: The Carrie Diaries, that Awful CW prequel to SatC, completely abandons this story-line in favor of a more 'dead mother' route.  idiots.]--

At the baby shower, Miranda does show up.  But there's no weird food and storks.  There's fried chicken and minimal baby.  Miranda is relieved and grateful to Charlotte for remembering that the shower is about the Mom-to-be.

Carrie and Sam show up with a cake made entirely of diapers and Miranda's like, "What do I do with this?" and it's truly comical. Charlotte clearly added some things to the registry.

"See?  I told you we should have gotten a massage certificate!" Carrie says to Sam.

An hour later, Miranda is opening gifts.  She has no idea what any of the stuff is even though she presumably has eyes and went to Harvard.

"It's a breast pump." A mother with baby-in-tow explains.

"Oh!!!" Miranda says

"Well, I didn't want you coming to my office to borrow mine." MWBIT jokes.  Then she says she has to pee and starts to pass the baby off to the woman sitting next to her when she gets a bright idea to pass him to Miranda.

Miranda haphazardly sets the child on the couch, though he seems barely old enough to sit on his own.  She asks for more gifts and the baby starts to tip forward toward Charlotte's sharp-edged coffee table.  Gee, maybe babies who can't walk yet really DO have magnets in their brains for sharp edges!

Carrie catches him just in time, and Miranda doesn't notice what a horrible mother she's already turning out to be.  nah, j/k, she just doesn't quite have the instinct yet.  Carrie keeps hold of the baby and doesn't tell Miranda.  Good friend.

Miranda opens up the next gift which is from Tiffany.  Not the lawyer, the store.  It's one of those fancee silver rattles, just like the one Trey gave Charlotte when they were first planning to have a baby.  This immediately shakes Charlotte and sends her into her room to sob.

Miranda and the rest of the women are stunned.  Miranda follows Char into the bedroom to talk her down.

"I just need to be alone right now!" Charlotte has buried her head under her pillow.

"Okay, except you know you got twenty people in the other room."

"I'm sorry I ruined your shower," Charlotte says as she peels the pillow from her head.

"You didn't. And there wouldn't even be a shower to ruin if it weren't for you. Look, I know this is hard and I really appreciate you trying to be OK with me having this baby because I need you. I mean, let's face it.  You're the only person in my life who knows how important it is to have a cake made entirely out of diapers."

"There's lotion in there, too." Charlotte says with an appreciative laugh.  "and baby bottles and a receiving blanket."

"See? I would never have known that." Miranda's ignorance is laughable here.  Who doesn't know that about diaper cakes?

(I'm being sarcastic here, I don't know about diaper cakes and I had two kids)

And then Charlotte admits, "You would have figured it out."

No shit.

At this point, Carrie walks in carrying the baby who has wet himself. "And myself, I might add."

"Well, I happen to have four tiers of diapers."  Oh Miranda, those are probably newborn sized diapers.  Presumably the MWBIT brought a diaper bag with diapers that fit him. And a change of clothes.

Too bad for Carrie's shirt though.

 

At the threesome later that evening, Sam is not playing very nice.  She doesn't want to share her toy and knocked the twenty-year old to the ground.

"Easy Sam, there's more than enough of me to go around." Richard says.

"You tell her, Daddy."  Twenty-something says.

Everyone in the room is disgusted by this, and Richard tells Sam to get rid of her.  Sam obliges and the girl leaves after one more de-bedding.

Richard says, when they've finished, that one-on-one is nice.  So, you know, maybe this'll end well for Sam? Maybe?

--

In the final chapter, Carrie's older-gent-boss is helping Carrie finish up her first purse article.  They've succeeded and he offers her an exclusive tour of the infamous Vogue closet.  The place where they store all the high-end fashion that they use for photo shoots.

Carrie is like a kid in a candy store.  She spots a rare pair of Manolo Blahnik Mary Janes and immediately starts prying them on her feet.

He calls to her from across the closet, and she walks over and finds him sans pants.

"What are you doing?!"

"I'm just showing you these briefs." He says like he's a lawyer or something.

"Well, don't." She's trying to laugh it off a bit, but he's still being creepy as shit. "Julien pull your pants up."

"Ooof," He says creepily, "look at you in those Mary Janes!"

"Stop."

He says he thinks that she has serious issues with men...

"I do right now."

...and that he can help her work through them, seeing as he's older and wiser and she's having absolutely none of this.

"Don't 'Cookie' me, Freud.  Pants up!"

You go girl!

Unfortunately, it means that she can no longer work with him, but she does finally get her other boss to let her fun purse pun agenda in every once in awhile.

 And that's the episode!  Hope you enjoy!  I definitely won't be back for a few weeks, but I'm happy to be getting more regular with these!

The season finale is coming up!  This one is probably my favorite finale, besides the final finale, so I'm looking forward to it!

Season 4 Episode 16 Ring a Ding Ding

A week.  peh.  You guys shouldn't let me promise things.  Such a flake am I.

To be fair, I'm not feeling particularly funny these days.  On the other hand, if I don't practice how do I expect to feel better?

This episode it's the morning after.  Aiden is leaving and Carrie is wearing rubber gloves pretending she knows how to fix a toilet.  She can be independent dammit.  Aiden is like... let me fix this for you. After some awkward dialogue including the use of the term "ball cock," she gives him back the engagement ring and then he leaves and she melts onto the bathroom floor and cries for several hours.

fair enough.

He's left an envelope for her and she thinks it's a goodbye letter but it's most definitely not.  It's way too thick.

It's an eviction notice.  Well, more like a "hey, remember how I bought this place? You really need to give me money for it, it wasn't a gift for YOU but for US, what the fuck were you thinking you could just live here rent free after we broke up?"

Part of me actually thinks she thinks this.  Suffice to say, she has 30 days to vacate or make an offer.

At brunch, her friends discuss the issue as well as renting vs. owning.  Carrie thinks everyone in Manhattan rents, but alas she's the only one at the table who does this.  XD

"Charlotte you got yours in the settlement, you did not pay for your apartment."

"Oh I paid for that apartment."

darn tootin!

Sam flashes her new Chanel wallet. Well, she didn't buy it.  Richard gave it to her.  OK, so maybe we should discuss Richard and Sam. They originally got together because neither of them are relationship people and they thought that would be a good basis for a relationship.  Sam starts to develop feelings for him, and Richard does not reciprocate.  In fact, Richard openly dates other women, and Sam is meant to feel horrible for wanting more since their original agreement was to keep things casual.

Richard has lately taken to buying her very expensive gifts and signing 'best, Richard' instead of 'love.'  Every time Sam reads it it's like a sucker punch to the gut.

"Best is like signing 'not love'" She sums up.

They also discuss the ring thing.  Everyone thinks Carrie is a fool for not keeping it, but I'm on her side.  It should never have been accepted.  Course, Aiden did say she could keep it, and if she hawked it she could have some down-payment money.  She's way too noble for that.

And we finally get to have that discussion about her finances we've all been deathly curious about this whole time.  How can a freelance writer with one column a week live in Manhattan?

Ok, we don't get any answers, just.. not very well?  sort of an answer. She's got about forty thousand dollars worth of shoes but no money for a down-payment on her apartment.

Still No idea how she could afford a $750 rent-controlled apartment AND a new pair of $400 shoes a month, not to mention all the goings out and other clothes she's constantly buying.

Hey, she should pull a shopaholic and sell most of her shoes.  She's a size 7-and-a-half with excellent taste in shoes.  She'd get her down payment right there.

But she's not as savvy as me.

She goes to the bank-- is actually proud of her pitiful savings-- and is immediately turned down without even so much as filling out a form.  It's not very realistic.  In fact, I bet she could have been afforded a small loan from the bank.  She has her rolling debt and not very much in savings.  Perfect!

I have a lot of feelings about this.

People who are responsible and don't have debt are WILDLY mistreated by financial institutions.  HashbrownAskMeHowIKnowWaitYouDon'tWantToGetMeStarted.

She then goes to the bank of Big.  We get to see his very posh office, and the only thing missing that Carrie points out are the rows of blonde secretaries in tight sweaters typing.

He actually writes her a check.

And then while having dinner with her friends she shamefully pulls it out and then *rips it to shreds*

Too noble to take the money but not too noble to ask for it.

She tries to ask her friends for it instead.  Well, doesn't really ask but makes it very clear how helpful it would be if they all just gave her a shit ton of money to bail her out of her woes.

Miranda actually goes so far to offer her half, but Carrie doesn't take it because of the baby.

Charlotte loudly slurps her soda and looks away.  She emphatically does -not- want any part of Carrie's financial mess.

There's a few scenes here and there where Carrie walks through an apartment that smells like curry take-out and doesn't have her quintessential shoe-closet.  See, now selling all her shoes makes sense.

She also goes shoe shopping with the ever expanding Miranda.  The show has lowered itself to fart jokes.  It's funny cause pregnant women are fat cows who fart all the time.  ha ha.  Miranda also complains about another symptom of pregnancy that people barely talk about-- thinking about sex all the time.  "It's why you're supposed to be married so -someone- is obligated to have sex with you!"

Carrie also has a scene where she attempts to take the bus, but she's on the side of it and someone asks why she has to take the bus if she's on it.  "My thoughts exactly" she says and she takes a much more expensive cab instead.  :rolls eyes again:

There's some scenes with Charlotte who's *desperate* for a job, even if it doesn't pay.  She is shown wandering through her apartment with her wedding ring on.  She originally wanted to get it turned into something else, but the thought of them melting it down gave her heart palpitations.

She does get a job as a docent at the Museum of Modern Art.  Very spiffy.  Carrie asks if it pays well cause she can docent, but it's a -coveted- volunteer position and this, on top of the whole having to leave her home of ten years, just gets the hell under Carrie's skin.

Finally she confronts Charlotte at home.  She wouldn't *take* the money from Charlotte, but it wouldn't kill her to offer.  Charlotte is offended. Money shouldn't get between friends.

"It's not my job to fix your finances." Charlotte starts. "You're a 35-year old woman, you need to stand on your own!" She finishes, accidentally flashing her wedding ring which is inconveniently on her finger.

"Charlotte... What is that on your finger?"

"I just wear it when I'm alone in my house." She pouts.

"And you're telling Me to be more independent?"

"It's my ring, I can wear it if I want to. And so what if it makes me feel better? And for the record the only reason I am volunteering is because no one will hire me! I've called seven galleries.  Apparently I have too much experience!"

"You're right.  It's your ring, it's your business.  I just got all worked up on the walk over here."

"You walked?" Charlotte seems worried.

"No, I took a $5 cab ride 6 blocks.  These shoes pinch my feet, but I love them.  I'm in a financial cul-de-sac."

DOOOD Carrie, just sell your fucking shoes.  if you have to pay 5$ every time you wear them because you can't walk in them, they are not good shoes.

Carrie also offhandedly mentions that Vogue offered her some free-lance work.  4 bucks a word, apparently that's a lot.  She'll just waste it all on a new haircut though.

Carrie's financial issues give -me- heart palpitations.

---

Sam has just taken a bath at Richard's place.  On her way to get dressed, she catches a man in the bedroom which gives her her own set of palpitations. It's not a robber or rapist, it's Richard's gift-buying assistant.  Apparently Richard's 'best' comes from a very embarrassed man who has been having a lot of fun spending Richard's money on her.  She promises that she won't tell Richard about finding out about him if he does one little thing for her.

The next time she's opening a gift in front of him, she reads the card "gorgeous for Gorgeous.  Love! Richard."  God, if she weren't hilarious I would find her manipulative as fuck.  XD

She successfully gets him to use the L word though. out loud even!

--
Steve is over at Miranda's working out scheduling issues for when the baby gets here.  He offers to rub her feet and she is all over that.

She asks him if he thinks that she's ugly, and he is so sweet.  He says she's got that glow.  d'awww.

"But would you want to have sex with me?"

"What are you talking about?  You're pregnant."

She feels absolutely disgusting, and on top of all the farting and foot issues, she can't stop thinking about sex.

"And who would want to have sex with me?"  aww, she breaks my heart.

"I want to have sex with you."

Then they have sex.  And that's how Brady got his dimples! XD
--

Charlotte takes Carrie out to offer her the ring.  As a loan.

It sort of brings them together and makes up for the drama.  So yay! Carrie can stay in her apartment.  whew.  We wouldn't want Carrie to smell like Curry all the time.


Anywho that's all! I'll see you next week.  Hey, stop laughing.  It'll happen.  You'll see!  You'll all see!

Season 4 Episode 15 Change of a Dress

Soooorry.  It has been WAY too long.  I had a long summer.  I had a lot of time off, sure, but not a lot of *alone* time off.  Kids are back in school (ahem, for a few weeks now, but draaaama kept me from doing this). Forget all that, let's do this!

When we last left the foursome, Carrie is reluctantly engaged, Miranda is reluctantly pregnant, Charlotte is reluctantly separated and Sam is reluctantly in love with Richard.

Charlotte is dealing with her separation by taking a tap class and squashing her feelings.  She doesn't want to be alone with her thoughts, which sounds like a good idea.  Keep busy, keep moving forward.  I don't see anything wrong with this.

Apparently the show thinks that she's not acknowledging her ghost, so it's about to spook her.

Speaking of Spoopy, Carrie is wearing her engagement ring on a chain around her neck, but she's also got about twenty pounds of pearl necklaces there too. (oh my!) Her old friend Susan Sharon shows up in the scene, is excited about her engagement and grabs her hand looking for the rock.

It isn't there, and Carrie gives the old adage "it's closer to my heart this way," which is cute, but would mean a lot more if it weren't surrounded by a metric fuck ton of fake jewelry.  Aiden is sitting there, mute, but likely seething beneath that fake smile he just gave.

See, continuing the thread from last episode, Carrie is trying to navigate being engaged on her own terms.

Translation:  she -really- doesn't want to be engaged or married or tied down, and is trying her damndest to fake it till she makes it.

And Aiden is putting up with it... for some reason?  Why would anyone want to marry someone who clearly doesn't want to get married?  :rolls eyes:  We will deal with this later.



Oh, huh, the shower scene I described in the last post actually happens in this episode.  ooops.  So, sometimes I do these things from memory and use the episode as a sort of guide.  I actually haven't watched the show since I started doing this, oh two years ago.  Soooorrry.


---

Miranda is having her ultrasound!  That's so exciting!  She's halfway there! :D

(god, I'm such a breeder!)

Well, Miranda, like Carrie, is less than enthused about the whole thing.  She doesn't seem to give a shit about any of it.  I like that they show a varying representation of women, but she's so cold.  It's not like she was still dealing with morning sickness by this point or it's her seventh baby and it's old hat or something, she just literally doesn't give a shit.

When the technician announces that it's a boy, Miranda's like 'huh' and the technician has never had anyone react this way. Er, not react. She says again, "It's a boy!" to coax some kind of a naturally happy reaction from Miranda who -supposedly- wants this baby and Miranda fakes a happy.

There's something in between fake-squeeing with joy for a new baby and having no reaction.  Miranda doesn't seem to understand that.  I don't think the writers understand that-- of course this is before I entered the Mommy Wars, which have been fighting looong and hard for basically the right for women to Mom however they want. To legitimize all the ways we rear children. Which, for the record, includes differences in emotion about babies and different ways to navigate motherhood, psychologically.

I actually don't know when the Mommy Wars started-- probably not long after the invention of the chat room.

I guess before that, if you did feel any different than constant jubilance about your baby, it might be isolating.

But to feel nothing, it's kind of insulting.  She's not a cow, having a baby is emotional.

On the other hand, I'm sure there are women out there who relate, so I'll stop throwing emotional grenades!

She goes off on a walk with Carrie to talk about their shared ambivalence about major events in their life.  Carrie, the staunch anti-babby laddy, is more excited about Miranda's future son than Miranda is.  Carrie describes her own lack of excitement about her future wedding. Miranda decides the best course of action to solve Carrie's problem is to take her dress shopping at the fucking worst dress shop in Manhattan.

They both decide to try on dresses, which is really fun and supportive.  The dresses are terrible, bad shape, bad material.  The sleeves on Miranda's dress look like those crepe paper balls that you un-fold and hang from the ceiling at baby showers.

But the terrible dress literally gives Carrie a rash!  Clearly the dresses were lined with Formaldehyde.  They should sue.

At brunch with the other two, Miranda has to apologize for her apparently shitty idea.  I thought it was a cute idea, she couldn't have known that the dresses were lined with Formaldehyde.

Carrie thinks that she's missing the bride gene and Sam pipes up that she doesn't want to get married either.

"Ever?!" Charlotte asks, bewildered, even though she of all people should understand exactly why Sam doesn't want to get married.  Sam makes the best not-eye-roll-but-totally-eye-roll face I've seen.  So much to unwrap in that face.

Like Charlotte just offered her moldy sandwiches or something.

Carrie asks why anyone gets married ever, excluding the whole dying alone thing.

Oh Carrie.  If you have to ask.

Charlotte says that when it was good she felt secure but I feel, even though she is the only one who's been married at the table, she shouldn't be allowed in this conversation.  She's about to be divorced from the guy, ffs.

Carrie poo poos her advice anyway, "I feel secure now.  And you know what they say, if it ain't broke--"

"Don't marry it!" Sam finishes.

Miranda asks what Carrie thinks would change.  Carrie doesn't know, which is fair.  This whole conversation is hard.  And honestly, this show kills at representing alternate lifestyles.  To a fault.  I think I already talked about it, but I read an article once about this topic-- about how society trains people to think about the pathway through a relationship.  How it's kind of like an escalator and only goes one direction.  Going backward isn't really an option, but so many people are stuck like Carrie-- what do you do when you want to de-escalate a relationship without killing it?  There isn't a template, it's baffling and confusing if you don't fall in line.

Charlotte explains that lots of brides get Cold Feet.

Carrie rightfully asks why they aren't speaking up.

Miranda asks why Carrie said yes.  And Carrie says, "Because I love him. A man you love kneels in the street and offers you a ring, you say yes. That's what you do."

Sam says the only real piece of advice you can take away from this: "Look, you get married you hope for the best.  It doesn't work out you get divorced. You can take tap with Bojangles over here."

"No. I can't take a vow of forever-and-ever if what I mean is for-the-forseeable-future. I can't do that to Aiden." Carrie says, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Talk to him about it." Miranda says.

"How?" Carrie replies, "How do you talk about this? It'll break his heart."

Then Charlotte steps in it: "Look, everyone has anxiety about weddings.  Maybe your anxiety threshold is just -lower- than other people's."

What the fuck does that mean?

Whatever.  That's the end of that brunch.  No answers.  Of course not.

I still can't decide how I feel about it, and it's been 12 years that I've been watching this show and thinking about it.

I just... don't relate to her problem.  I can't fathom it.  I can't fathom being with someone and not *being* with them, all in.  All or nothing.

He wants to take the risk, he's out on a ledge and doesn't realize he's alone with his feelings.  You know, like Carrie was with Big back in season 1.  Only, she sees him there and doesn't want to go there with him.

This'll end well.

Carrie decides to buy a smattering of bridal magazines -instead of pack of cigarettes- and reads them while Aiden is next door hammering through the wall.

This is a literal -and figurative- hammering.

Carrie wonders what type of bride she could be as she looks at the pictures of all the happy ladies in their happy dresses. And as she's looking panic is setting in. Her anxiety is shooting up at the same rate of the volume from Aiden's shitty loud chaotic music coming through the hole he's smashing through.

"Aiden! Aiden! Stop!" She shouts as she rushes over to the other apartment to tell him in person.

"I'm freaking out! I can't.  I cannot!  I'm having a very strong reaction to all this!"

He thinks she's talking about the wall going down, but of course she's not.  Well, not literally anyway.

"I love you and I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to talk about this, but, but I have to."




























He has her sit on the floor, and she's in a groveling position. "I didn't want to say anything, but then that thing came through my wall." My wall.  My wall.  After all this.  Ugh.  Just when I was starting to maybe see her perspective.

Groan.

He is a little more forgiving, says he doesn't want to rush her into it.  He suggests they wait, "six months? nine months?  end of the year?"

"Which year?" she asks.

He looks wounded, but says "Ok, Ok, we'll get there."

Ugh, now I'm not on his side either.  It's not a destination.  Once you're married it's not over.  What is he on?  If he wants to be with her, he should just be with her.  She doesn't want to break up, she just doesn't want to get married.

Later.  Later.  :exhale:  I know. We'll get there.


---

Miranda has to fake a happy with her cleaning lady, Magda.  Magda has found the sonogram and brought it to her to ask about the sex of the baby and she's absolutely thrilled about it.

After she sets the picture down, Miranda accidentally puts her coffee mug on top.  oop.

--

Charlotte is in tap class again, avoiding 'tapping' into her feelings about the matter.  Doing an avoid-Dance, if you will.  The piano has started up and it's Tea for Two, which is a couples dance.

When it's her turn to dance through with a partner, she doesn't want to go without a dance partner.

"Just go it alone!" The tap teacher is encouraging.

"I don't want to go it alone."

And then she finally just gives in and throws an enormous tantrum about it,  "I can't do this I'm sorry I can't.  And I shouldn't have to! I deserve a real partner! And this song is Abusive and Hurtful!"

Meanwhile the piano is still going, "Should I stop?" The piano lady asks.  She does stop.

Charlotte doesn't, "...And you should think about how a person would feel who's going through a very difficult divorce and who comes here to have fun and feel good about themselves!"

And finally she's done shouting at the dozen or so innocent bystanders in front of her.  oooop.

And she runs away.

---


They all go to a party for something.  It's some PR thing for Sam to confront Richard about her feelings for him.  They are conveniently in black and white formal dress.

So, I don't really want to talk about Richard and Sam.  I thought when I started these things I'd have so many things to talk about with them.  but I don't. I think I was done after the whole 'goldicocks' thing got established and that's all he's been.  A dick.

Well, Miranda and Charlotte and Carrie are entertaining themselves at the party.  Carrie says the most memorable line in the episode:

"Miranda, Do you realize you're growing a teeny tiny penis inside you? It's so sci-fi!"

LOLOL

Charlotte hops on the 'OMG YOU'RE HAVING A BOY!!' train, and Miranda has had e-fucking-nough with people being excited about this legitimately exciting event.  She does the ol' fake smile for good measure. But she's done.

Oh, and the other memorable line from the episode happens from Sam about Richard: "I think I have monogamy!! I must have caught it from you people!"

LOL again.

That's enough fun good times.  Carrie and Aiden leave the party. Aiden is in a tux and Carrie's in a white get up that looks remarkably like a wedding dress.  But no rash!  See, I told you the dress was lined with Formaldehyde! 

Aiden suggests that since they're all dressed up already, they should just get married tonight.  Hop on a plane to Vegas and get married.  No muss, no fuss.

Carrie is decidedly Not on board with this idea.

He wonders what the big deal is.

"I'm not ready for marriage." Carrie insists.

"Well I am.  I'm sorry if that scares you, but I am." Aiden continues: "People fall in love, they get married that's what they do."

"Not necessarily." Carrie rebuts.  She asks why they can't just live together.

"I don't want to live together!!" Aiden throws a mini temper tantrum. "I've had girlfriends for twenty years I want you to be my wife."

"Aiden, you're pushing me."

"Well, maybe you need to be pushed." Aiden is acting like a child. "What's the big deal? it's just a stupid piece of paper!"

"If it's just a piece of paper, then why do we need it?!" Carrie finally gets to the heart of things.

"Because I need it!" Aiden shouts. "I want to make this official and lock this thing down. Carrie, I want the whole wide world to know that you're mine."

"Who else's would I be?" Carrie asks and then Aiden gives her a look. "Omg, you still don't trust me."

"You don't even wear that ring on your fucking finger."

At that, there's really not much else to say. Course, that doesn't stop them.

She can't marry him to make him trust her, she says.  He states that she won't ever want to marry him if she doesn't want to marry him right now.

I don't know how to feel about that.  On one hand, he's probably right.  On the other, he has so many goddamn issues here, it's exhausting.  He should never have invited her back into his life.  It's just a huge mistake.

He says that he's going to sleep on the other side of the wall.  "I can't believe I'm back here again." he says and he backs away from her while she realizes that he's put up his own wall and they are separated.

--

At Miranda's, she's felt her baby kick for the first time and finally realizes that it's a real baby in there.  Some sort of connect is formed.  She's navigating her own way through motherhood and I guess I can't fault her too much for that.

--

That night, Carrie goes to lie with Aiden even though he's sleeping on a few blankets on the floor.  He takes her in his arms, but it's over.

"That was the only night we would ever spend on the other side of the wall." Narrator Carrie narrates.

And that's it.  That's the end.  Of the episode and of Carrie and Aiden.

Fucking Finally.

I'll hopefully get back to a more regular schedule now!  See you next week!