Season 5 Episode 4 Cover Girl

Content Warning: This episode talks a bit about diet and diet culture and weight loss after baby

On to the episode!

First thought: Easy Breezy Beautiful, Cover Girl!

How to tell someone has watched Way too many episodes of ANTM Way too many times.

My second thought is that I haven't seen these episodes in so fucking long I had to read the synopsis to refresh my memory.  oop.

Memory unlocked. Actually, this episode explores some topics that can be, uh difficult, but as usual for this era of this show, the writing is tight.  The writing is so tight, that not only are they discussing quick judgements and how harmful they can be, Carrie is literally choosing a cover for her own book.  A play on "don't judge a book by its cover."

 A few episodes ago, Carrie was offered a book deal.  They want to turn a series of her columns into book form. And in this episode, they need to find the perfect cover for it.

Her contacts from the publisher are Molly Shannon and Amy Sedaris.  They are hilarious.   The first thing they do is present her with a cover where Carrie's face is photoshopped onto a very naked body that is running down a busy New York street.

"No! oh. I'm sorry that just came out." Carrie says.The publicists are dismayed.  They are glad she has a strong reaction, but the reaction shouldn't have been no.

"No matter how fast paced the city, I always manage to get my clothes on before I leave the apartment."

They are fucked.  Well, they say they're fucked.  and Carrie feels guilty so she tries again, looks at it and says "No, no. Absolutely not, I would sooner die."

--

The foursome make a trip to Barnes and Noble where Carrie is being an absolutely judgemental cow.  She points at various books on tables and talks about how terrible the covers are.  It's a skill, I'll give her that, but you'd think someone in her position would give these people a bit of grace.

She talks to Samantha about how judgemental the public is and how screwed she is with her looming book cover. Samantha's like, get tf over yourself, you're fabulous! And I love Samantha.  I know I've said it again and again throughout these snarks, but everyone needs a supportive friend like Samantha.  Why should Carrie care about what a bunch of jerks say about her?  oh yeah... she's got to sell this book to the very judgemental public.  eeep.

"People are mean." Carrie says.

"People are not that mean." Sam begins, "Ugh she looks like shit is her stylist blind?" Sam finishes.  (she's flipping through a magazine)

"I have just officially entered Panic." Carrie panics.

Sam offers her PR expertise for the cost of lunch and two martinis.  Supportive friend is supportive.

--

Meanwhile Charlotte is looking for a self-help book on dealing with divorce. She barely wants to tell Miranda what the book title is, she's so shameful about it. Her whole arc (it's not that deep, really) is that she goes awandering in the self-help aisle and is completely dismayed by the kind of people there. (Narrator Carrie calls it the "self hell aisle").  There's someone eating her hair and another sobbing openly. One even tearfully tells her that "that book really helped me."  The scandal!  So thoroughly disgusted, she turns to amazon which is new! and sells books! And she can buy her divorcee book judgement-free!

Until the algorithm betrays her and she sees the recommendations for a person such as she is: divorced and looking for books for handling all that, and decides to throw the book out the window--

--where it lands at the feet of a woman who's currently considering divorce and needed a sign from the universe.

It's kind of funny.  The algorithm is so judgey, don'tcha know.

--

Miranda took that comment from last episode ("fat ass") and decided she'd have enough of the baby weight.  I... mm.  I used to not mind this plot so much.  I was a young mother. I'm a woman, I live on this planet. I 'get it'-- but I'm.. fucking sick of society's obsession with thinness at this venture.  It's unhealthy.

And honestly, now, I think this plot absolutely insane, written by people who are not mothers and not women and it's obvious. Miranda is fresh off having a baby-- she's probably still breast feeding.  I know this is niche, but I breastfed and the hunger is unreal.  UNREAL.  She needs these reserves.  They'll likely diminish on their own, considering she's of "normal" weight (not to mention, Miranda is one of two of the women of the foursome who are actually shown exercising. She runs the gd marathon-- she doesn't need to go on a fucking diet)-- but society. Society called her a "fat ass" and she has to change.

Society has to change.

(Can I just note in another aside that she's not even -fat- later on in the episode, she gets weighed and she's 153 pounds.  On her 5'7" frame, that's well in the range of a "healthy" weight, especially considering she just pushed out a 8 pound human. She's like the ANTM version of plus size. You know that Whitney, the plus size winner from cycle 10 was a size 6?  Back then in the early 2000s if you were anything more than a size 0 you were a fat ass.  Fucking exhausting)

Anyway.  The person who checks her out at the bookstore takes one look at the diet book she's chosen at advises her to do weight watchers instead.

This is where she meets the guy she talked about last season (or possibly the season before, they blur together).  She previously talked about a guy who was in over-eaters anonymous who would binge eat hot fudge sundaes whenever they got in a fight.  This season, this guy wants donuts and chicken pot pies and other foods when stressed and it's the same plot line.  It's the same guy.

He's also a messy -eater- and Miranda doesn't want to criticize his technique for fear of setting him off and being responsible for his problems (EMOTIONAL LABOR MUCH?), but she also doesn't want to kiss... uhm, herself?  She does tell him that maybe he can wipe his mouth before kissing her after doing that and he essentially shuts down and they break up.

She ends up moving to the other WW place by the Krispy Kreme rather than deal with seeing him again, and uh, fair.  Apparently he's put her off donuts in general.  Hey, whatever gets you off.

--

Samantha's story line dovetails nicely in with Carrie's.

Sam's at her office, and the worldwide express guy has a -package- for her and it's very suggestive and very porn.  It's hilarious.  Sam's doing a, job, shall we say, and who should show up a few moments later, but Carrie-- there to take Sam out on that lunch date and to decide on the outfit for the cover.

Carrie takes one look at Sam on her knees, gasps, bangs her elbow on the door frame, and escapes!

In the next scene, in the same outfit, Carrie is at her apartment having a nice conversation with Stanford while she is still obsessing over her cover. Stanford is by the window, glowing. "You look very... something." Carrie says.

"I am very something... I met someone" Stanford gushes. Stanford goes on to describe Marcus, his new man. But first, he worries that Carrie will judge him, and Carrie is like peh, I don't judge people.

"We all judge. Some people do arts and crafts. We judge" Stanford is on point this episode.

So, you know how I keep saying she needs a hobby?  I suppose if snarking these episodes can be one of my many (MANY) hobbies then judging people can be theirs.  Why not?

Anyway, Marcus is a dancer for Radio City Music hall. He also played someone named Coffee in some ballet. Who cares. Carrie is really trying to hold back but wants to judge him like crazy.  "You met a man who played Coffee waiting to get Coffee?"

Sam calls Carrie at this point, and hints that she thinks that Carrie's reaction to catching the BJ was a bit much.

"Oh lighten up!" Sam says.  "Uhm. I am light." Carrie replies.  I... don't know how to take this whole interaction. I think that Sam is feeling insecure about being caught blowing that guy and rather than stay and watch? Sam is mad that Carrie left. What on earth did she expect her to do? pop popcorn?  Pull up a seat?

Sam mainly wanted to say that she has a stylist who's pulled some looks for the cover.  And Carrie wants to come see the styles.  Sam thinks that Carrie doesn't trust her to know what "sexy chic" means-- and to be honest, I'm on Carrie's side here.

Carrie and Sam have very different ideas of what makes something sexy. But Sam is cool with her coming along, and Carrie invites Stanford because "he's gay and bitchy, my target test audience."

Not "he's my friend and I trust his eye for this sort of thing."

He's GAY and BITCHY.

:blinks:

ANYWAY.  moving on.

--

The foursome have a meeting at coffee shop where they mostly complain about Miranda's date du episode.  The one who is a messy eater.  There's a lot, but not a lot to talk about.  Except this:

Miranda: "Samantha do you kiss after a blowjob?"

Carrie: "No, she just signs the delivery slip and sends him on his way."

OUCH.

The other two are confused cause that joke BIT and was PERSONAL.

"Apparently Carrie has a problem with the fact that she saw me blowing the worldwide express guy." Sam explains to the gobsmacked Miranda and Charlotte.

Charlotte says "eeeew."

Carrie points out that it was Charlotte and not her that just said Ew.

"and when did I say I had a problem?"

"oh please, you walked in, caught us, turned and ran."

"Well what was I supposed to do, sit and flip through Marie Claire" (fucking thank you.)

 Miranda sort of piles on with the slut shaming and puts Sam on the defense about her blowing the worldwide express guy.  Samantha is deeply offended by their slut shaming.

"Samantha," Miranda says, "What's the big deal? We laugh about this kind of stuff all the time."

Samantha says fine but she is grimacing.  She forces Carrie to leave with her to meet with the stylist.

At the meeting, the looks that have been pulled are not good.  If you watched TBS in the turn of the century, you saw this scene, it was part of the show previews.  Carrie is put in a very wispy teddy with boas. so many boas. fake feathers everywhere.  It's a nightmare.

Stanford is there introducing his very sexy boyfriend to Carrie, right as the curtain pulls back and we see the monstrosity: "Marcus Adante, Lady Marmalade."

"It's nice to meet you." Carrie says, "I don't usually dress like a high class hooker."

 Sam is still sort of offended from lunch and takes it personally.

 "That is NOT a hooker look." She says.

"Please! This screams hooker. What respectable New York Woman would be caught dead wearing this?" Carrie is walking into a trap.

"I have one in red.  Am I a hooker?"

Sam asks if Carrie looks adorable in the -outfit- and he admits that she does, then Carrie asks if it's the worst possible for the cover and it absolutely is.

Carrie asks Marcus and Stanford to wait outside while she confronts Sam about everything between them this episode. Carrie points out the thing I was saying about their ideas of sexy.

"This is about the blowjob isn't it?" Sam says. "One little blowjob and I'm a hooker with no taste."

Carrie is absolutely flummoxed: "It's about the book cover."

Carrie then completely lies and says that women their age need to cover it up.  Whatever, *I* for one don't judge.  I hate those lists about things -women- over thirty shouldn't do.  FUCK IT.

"We can't get away with the same stuff we used to." Carrie says. (LIES)

"Like blow jobs."  Sam continues to berate Carrie about the judgement she felt from her that day at her office.

"That wasn't judgement that was shock.  I thought we were having lunch."

Sam reiterates, "are you saying you have no judgement?"

"no judgement. But I do have a question, will this relationship be priority-overnight or next-day delivery."  FUCKING HELL CARRIE.  READ THE ROOM.

"If I walked in on you giving a blow job to a worldwide express guy--"

"You would never walk in on me, because that is something I would never do!"

"THERE. And I cannot believe that you would judge me after everything that we've been through."

NO kidding. They've been through a war of Carrie's making and Sam was steadfast.

"I will wear whatever and blow whomever as long as I can breathe and kneel."

 

Anyway.  Sam walks out of the office and into a -scene- between Stanford and Marcus and she is shocked at the sight.

Sam and Carrie make up over that.  Apparently you can be shocked without being judgemental. Two things can be true.

In the end, Carrie wears a lovely outfit for the cover and it's an iconic look.  It's her type of sexy.

That's it friends!  Next time I'll start the second half of season 5! This season only has 8 episodes!

Cheers!

Season 5 Episode 3 Luck Be an OId Lady

What's this?  a new blog post?  in 2023?  After a :checks blog notes: 5 year hiatus?  Who am I?

Well, I am a still-fan of Sex and the City and I have finally had enough time to fall back in love with the characters and show.  Ok, mostly probably because I haven't watched it since then, in fact I hadn't watched it recreationally since I started this blog back in 2016.  Such a shame! It was right there and I didn't watch it.

I just spent the last two days rereading all the posts from here and realizing that I had a good thing going and I need to finish this. I only have 30 some episodes to go, and the movie.  (we don't talk about the *other* movie).  (I haven't seen the spin-off show on HBO, I wasn't planning on watching it)

I do want to make a general apology for some of the things I said when I was 28-- I had a long way to go in understanding the ins and outs of the LGBT+ community (mainly the trans community) and I might have said a thing or two in the wrong way.  I also completely glossed over Carrie saying that she wore gold jewelry for fun "like ghetto gold" and that's not OK.  I should have called that out.

Also, I used the word "pontificate" wrong on like 4 occasions.  I thought it meant something like talking in a grandiose, pompous sort of way, but it doesn't mean that at all.  oops.   WAIT.  I just looked it up and that's exactly what it means.  DOOD.

I'm sure there's more, we've all grown a lot since 2018-- hell, we went through a global pandemic together.  Go us.  I have a teenage girl, now in high school, and a young pre-teenage boy going into middle school next year.  yikes.  I am also turning 35 this year.  Fuck I'm old. XD That was actually part of the reason I wanted to get back into it.  I wanted to see what I thought about the stories now that I'm essentially the ages of the women here.

Anyway, I haven't even hit play on my DVD player to start this, so this might get long.

Last we saw the foursome, Miranda is dealing with having a newborn, Charlotte is single again, currently divorcing Trey, Sam is about to jump back into an ill-advised relationship with Richard (the man with the perfect dick who isn't afraid to share it), and Carrie is Very Single But Insists on Saying She's Dating the City of New York. Yikes!

So, let's go! (I do apologize for being rusty)

ah! the theme song. <3

 Carrie is on her first blind date in years.  She's hoping for the best (cute guy, but not him), preparing for the worst (creepy dude leering at her from across the bar, also probably not him) and just might be pleasantly surprised (nope, that one is meeting someone else)

 She was stood up. oh boy.

 At coffee shop with Foursome, Carrie is scraping bottom.

 Charlotte is hopeful there's an explanation, Miranda for some reason decides *this* is a good example of good dating, cause she misses it for some reason? and Sam is like, Why are you going on a blind date? it's beneath you.

Charlotte doesn't want Carrie to give up completely, since blind dates don't always end badly.

Carrie rightfully points out that dating is like having a job interview with cocktails, and she's not wrong.  She also points to the crux of the episode, which is: what's the point of dating if it always ends badly? 

"Why should I risk a godawful evening, when I'm guaranteed to have fun with you guys?"

"Oh, that's cute," Sam answers, "but I'm never gonna fuck you."

Charlotte admonishes Carrie for giving up, says she has to keep trying.

And Carrie makes a groundhog day reference that I find very timely considering when I'm doing this.  She's seen her shadow and she's going back in.

haha, Charlotte says, "you have to take some risks so you don't wind up an old maid!"

"That's right! Must not wind up old maid!" Carrie jokes.

Miranda wonders why women have to be 'old maids' and 'spinsters' and men can be bachelors and playboys.

Well, fun story! Spinsters became a derogatory term, but in fact its roots were far from negative.  Spinning actually was one of the few jobs a single woman could have to support herself without a spouse back in the olden days of yore.

New Topic.  Charlotte's turning 36 this weekend! And she's decided to stick to 35.  She's "not where I thought I'd be at 36."

I will never stop rolling my eyes about women and age.  Women are so fucking insecure about getting older, it's confounding.  Shouldn't we be happy to get older?  The alternative seems quite a bit grimmer, don't you think?

"Ok then, where are we celebrating Charlotte's 35th birthday, the sequel?" Carrie jokes.

 Miranda can't go out regardless, her baby nurse just had her last day and she's going to need at least a year in advance for future scheduling.  (Side note, I really am glad that they don't just abandon the baby existing out of convenience like they do in lots of other shows.)

Sam can't go either, Richard is taking her to Atlantic City.

"ugh, what'd you do wrong?" Miranda asks.

Sam explains there's some kind of a fight and he likes to gamble, and also he's a hotel PR whatsit (fuck, it's been a really long time since I watched this, suffice to say it's not completely out of the realm of realistic for Richard to go to New Jersey for the weekend)

Sam also says that they're taking his private jet, which sounds unreasonable. How far away is Manhattan to Atlantic City?  Couldn't they drive?  yeah, it's 2 hours by car.  That's what? a 20 minute flight?  How was there even time to get it up (I'm getting ahead of myself).

Anyway, Carrie laments that they can't get together to celebrate, and it's relatable.  I mean, she's acting like a fucking child, but it's relatable.  They've essentially been inseparable these past 4ish seasons and life is starting to happen to each of them.  OK, mostly it's happening to Miranda, and also it's not very far in advance that Carrie wanted to plan this.  She says "this weekend" which means it's mid-week.  That just seems normal that 4 people with full lives wouldn't be able to get together that weekend.

This is the first time I've seen this with captioning and she calls it Charlotte's "30-faux" birthday and I LOVE the pun.  I always misheard it as 34 birthday and thought Carrie was just a moron.  I mean, two things can be true.

The show moves forward a bit, shows Carrie at home alone (she really needs a fucking hobby), and now she's on the phone.  She's trying to get Sam to cancel her AC trip because Miranda got Steve to watch the baby and they can eek out a night together.  She also complains that the last picture taken of the four of them is "moldy" and.. it's dumb she's complaining about it, it's not like they're NOT together all the time-- but I do get it.  I don't take pictures nearly as often as I want to.  I don't have very many of my old knitting friends together and it's kind of a shame.  It doesn't erase all the times we spent together though.

Same with pictures with my husband.  We're together all the time, but I think the last picture we got together was right after we moved into the house.  in November.  oop.

Richard pops up out of nowhere, nude, and suggests letting Carrie et all come along on the private jet, he'll even comp some suites, so they can enjoy the weekend together.

Carrie shouts "yes!" from the other end of the phone.

Next scene she's picking up Miranda to head to the airport together.  Miranda's got a very sad face on.  She can't go, she's not ready to separate from Brady.  HAHA, just kidding, he left two hours ago with Steve and she's FREE!

Fuck, I love that.  I remember being free of my kids for the first time and it's so good.  Cause like, once you're a mom, it feels like everything you do is suddenly about your kids.  People distill their entire experience and personality down to 'mom' and OK, I'm soapboxing.  Suffice it to say, Miranda is NOT that and it's Refreshing.  I'm Not that either, I am a faceted woman who happens to have kids.

While Miranda's gathering her weekend bags, Magda shows Carrie pictures of the baby. She gushes about his cute face and his belly and all the cuteness.  (I'm such a breeder, I love that shit, babies are the best). Magda sneaks by Miranda to exit the scene, and Carrie is like "I never thought I'd see the day!" Miranda corrects her, she doesn't care about the baby like that, "I didn't even take most of those."  Now, sure, but. Miranda not bonding with her child is glaring.  Like, to a point it's refreshing.  To another point, it starts to look like why did she even have a kid if she's so antipathic to them.

Anyway, just at the moment of release, Steve shows up with the baby.  He can't do it. He can do two hours, but after that he's afraid he's going to accidentally kill the baby.

"We're both afraid we're going to kill the baby. That's a given." Miranda explains (the best joke in the whole episode) and insists it's Steve's turn with the baby so she can go gallivanting with her friends.  They fight, as Carrie in the background has enlisted Magda to help Steve with the baby.

Miranda doesn't think it's her job, but also doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth.  And also apparently they'd been fighting long enough that the two of them have missed the plane and have no way to get down to New Jersey.  (It's TWO HOURS.  rent a car.  FFS)

They go by bus.

Meanwhile, on the private jet, Samantha is making out with Richard. Charlotte shows up, apologizes for being late, but sees it's just the three of them and is rightfully nervous. On her seat is a gift and because her birthday is tomorrow, she thinks it's for her.

It's something.  pearls and a bit of fabric.  "It's pretty! but what is it?"

It was meant for Sam.  A pearl thong. "for me? you naughty boy!" Sam says before making out with Richard again.  It's kind of rude.  She also says something like "practical And stimulating, what will they think of next" and I'm thinking HOW is a pearl thong practical?  On what planet?  Also, I never thought about it before, but what will the PH levels of a vulva DO to pearls?  they have to be fake.  Also, it has to be the most uncomfortable piece of underwear I've ever seen in my life.

"Did I tell you I've taken up knitting?  I find it really calms my nerves" Charlotte has pulled out a baby bootie WIP from her purse. I love that she's knitting even if she also says "knitting is the new yoga according to New York Magazine."  She's trying to ignore the couple groping each other in front of her.

Richard says grossly that he'll give Sam a pearl necklace to match the underwear.

Charlotte, in the most Charlotte way possible, misunderstands and says that her father gave her a pearl necklace for her when she was 16.

The two of them explain the dirtiness, and if it was me, I wouldn't have.  Charlotte's too naive for that.  Also, they've effectively sullied a perfectly nice memory Char has of her father.

Narrator Carrie jokes "Knit one, purl two would never sound the same to Charlotte again"  OK, clearly they only brought in the knitting so they could make this lame joke.  I don't think Charlotte ever knits again.  It is sitting on the top of her luggage later on to make the case that she's and OLD MAID, cause ya know, only Old women knit.

That's my LEAST favorite stereotype.

I don't even think it's true.  I've met a lot of older women who see me knitting in public and most of them say things like "I used to do that but can't anymore because Reason" (usually it's pain, sometimes it's vision)

Also, it's just fucking infuriating, OK?

---

On the bus with Miranda and Carrie, Carrie wonders where all the old men are (since the bus is entirely filling up with old women).  Miranda says they're dead, or married to twenty year olds.

Then Miranda picks up her magazine to enjoy some alone -adult- time and Carrie keeps interrupting her.

Carrie doesn't think they'll be friends when they're old because of all the effort it took to get them together for the weekend.  Fuck, Carrie, it was a Very Short notice and your friend JUST had a baby.  relax.

Also, I haven't seen the new spin-off on HBO, but I know Kim Cattrall isn't in it (reason number 7 why I don't care to watch it), so no, I don't think they'll all be friends when they're old.

Also, Carrie goes on and on about investing in her friendships, since they don't magically last 40 years.  She mentions money and investing for retirement-- which is just fucking rich coming from someone as irresponsible with money as she is.  And Miranda doesn't let that go by either, cause she was there when Carrie "$40K in shoes but only $800 in savings" Bradshaw needed to use Charlotte's old wedding ring to buy her apartment three episodes ago or whenever.

"did you finally open that IRA?" she jokes.

Miranda just wants to enjoy some no-baby time and Carrie's kiiiind of being an asshole.  Yes, you have to invest in friendships, but a lot of people want more than that.  Like Sam said in the beginning, they're not going to fuck you.

I'm going on, so I'll continue.

---

 They meet up at the hotel, it's Trump's old property (you know, one of many that went bankrupt) the Taj Mahal casino.  This is probably extremely offensive.  Oh yeah, it is.  The staff are mostly in caricature Indian outfits.  no good.

Carrie announces that she's missed this! And they're like, you've never been here before.  Apparently she misses the cigarette smoke.  gross.

Carrie, steadfastly single and child-free, is sporting an outfit where you can totally see her pregnant belly.  In fact, Sarah Jessica Parker and Cynthia Nixon were both pregnant during this season. (it's why the season was so short) Some of the costuming gets real creative in hiding their expanding bellies.

Fun fact! When I was 18 I didn't see the pregnancies at all. Silly baby Jessica. XD

---

Back at the casino, Charlotte, Sam and Miranda all want to go do things, but Carrie insists on taking the women out to dinner.

Miranda is reminded of the present she got for Charlotte, and I think Charlotte (and all of us) are a little gun shy about surprise(!) presents.  It's a pack of 'old maid' and Charlotte is Not Amused.

"Old maid? Is this supposed to be funny?" Charlotte says.  She's wearing a high up ruffled collar shirt that makes her look about 80, btw.  Intentional costume is intentional.

Richard shows up to try to escort Sam away, and Sam doesn't want to leave her girlfriends, that is until a scantily clad woman shows up to chat him up and show off her breasts in his general direction.

Sam laments taking a cheating man to "Atlantic Titty" and decides that she really should join Richard in his poker game-- lest he cheat on her with all the women working at the hotel, or something. It was right as Carrie was toasting the four of them. XD

The three leftovers go gamble at the craps table. Miranda's just won! woohoo! And Carrie wants to go find Samantha now.  Miranda doesn't want to leave now that she's on a roll (pun intended).

A nearby dood asks Carrie to blow on his dice.  She offers up Charlotte, and the guy is like, nope, gotta be Carrie, "the hot one" "You're my lucky blonde. Blow."  He throws the dice and he's a winner!

Carrie screams, she's so excited, just as Miranda says "fuck I lost."  oops.

Carrie won though, the guy gifts her a thousand dollar chip!  and she didn't even have to sleep with him first.

Miranda wants Carrie to gamble it, and she wants to help.  Charlotte is stuck on how the guy called Carrie the hot one.  She's really grumpy this episode.

Carrie doesn't want to gamble anymore, she wants to see ZZ Top with her friends.  Well, they don't want to. Miranda's lost her wind.  She's just had a baby a month or so ago, and is tired. Plus she's got a frozen milky way bar and pay per view.  Sounds like a great night. ^^

"Charlotte went to sleep that night with a thousand dollar chip on her shoulder." 

---

Writer Carrie is thinking about gambling and relating it to dating.

"If we know the house always wins, why gamble?"  She writes "why gamble" on the hotel note pad.  Like, I know what the -show- is doing here, she likely wouldn't have brought her little laptop on vacation, but is she really going to struggle to remember the theme of her next column.

---

Sam's story revolves around all the women she's afraid Richard is going to sleep with.  In her end, she breaks up with him to save her the trouble-- AFTER she climbs many many flights of stairs in a pearl thong to try to catch him in the act.  He wasn't cheating, but she knows he will.

--

Charlotte's story continues with her realizing she hates the associations she has with 'old maid:' her clothes, her knitting, the shower cap she's got on.  She buys a very skimpy dress at the hotel gift shop and embraces her youth.

"Those are for women who've lost all their money and have to turn tricks." Carrie complains, slut shamey AF.

I don't think I mentioned it up there, but I also wanted to apologize for the things I didn't say about sex work back when I was 28.  Sex work is work.  Nothing wrong with it, it should be safe and legal. The show is... of its time on this topic.

Also, Carrie is a sex columnist, a sexual anthropologist.  Her ideas about sex are so fucking limited and I hate it.  I hate it.  She calls Charlotte a 'harlot' and a whore for dressing the way she does in this scene and it's so offensive.

 --

Miranda is kind of being a dick here, too.  She's sitting at the black jack table, losing a lot of money.  She pretty much demands that Carrie give up her thousand dollar chip for her to play with.

Carrie refuses.  The people around the foursome are angry that they aren't playing the round. One guy calls Miranda fat TO HER FACE and it's awful.

The rest of them come to her defense by calling him fat right back and I can't even.  Like, it's not nice. Probably feels good in the moment (everybody claps) but fuck, it's so awful.

Charlotte says to the guy "She's not normally this big" as if it's OK to call her fat if she didn't just have a baby or something.  it's really bad.  fuck.

Miranda heads up to bed, walking away, trying to hide her aforementioned "fat ass" as she goes, and it's sad.

--

Charlotte and Carrie continue their night, getting hit on by two guys at the bar.  Carrie doesn't want to hang out with guys, she wants to invest in her friends-- because the odds of 'hitting it off' are so remote and men die first anyway. She wants to enjoy the company of her friends. Charlotte rightfully says what we're all thinking, that skipping the drama means missing out on relationships, kids, growing old with someone else.  She wants those things AND friendships.

"Now that sounds wonderful, but don't bank on it happening" Carrie replies.  Like an asshole.  Who SAYS that?  fucking jerk.

Carrie decides that Charlotte wants to be alone. She's goes off to get some salt water taffy on the boardwalk and eats it while watching a couple watch the sunset.  She surmises that maybe she does want to take that gamble, cause the prize is so worth it.

So she comes back inside and puts her chip on the roulette wheel, betting the entire thousand dollars on 36.  Cause she's 36 and it's a whole thing.

Within 5 seconds it's gone.  29 is the winner.  (you just said a mouthful right there, show)

And because Sam broke up with Richard, they all have to take the bus home.

They have someone take a snapshot while they're together, despite Miranda's poo pooing about it being a time they want to remember.  But it was.

It's the weekend Carrie blew her found thousand dollars in two seconds and slut shamed her friend and called a guy fat.

good times.

I really hope I can get back into these at a regular pace.  I'm not sure though, Zac's schedule is strange these days, rotating between days and swings and night shifts. I'll make time for it though.  I'm hoping to finish this year.  Wish me luck!