This episode's major theme is religion. (if you couldn't tell from the title)
It starts with Miranda fucking a guy, an up and coming playwright. It's at the end, they're both coming. He says "oh god oh god oh god!" and then they're done and he goes to shower immediately. It's awkward. The next scene they're fucking again, and it's the same deal: "oh god, oh god oh god" followed by "I'll be right back" And Miranda is looking more and more distraught. Is it her?
No, of course not. She's dating Catholic guy. The nuns told him sex was a sin, so he makes a habit of showering after.
On the street, Miranda is talking to Carrie about how fucked up it is. She never would have dated him if she knew he was catholic. And she thinks religious people ought to wear a sign. Narrator Carrie talks about how single people rarely ask about their date's religious backgrounds, nor their date's number of former sex partners, because it's too scary.
Carrie is writing in her little column, talking about how the only time she ever hears about people going to church is to go to singles mixers. So, are relationships the religion of the 90s?
I don't even know what that's asking. I think they were trying a little too hard to tie everything together and it didn't quite work.
In the next scene, Carrie is walking around town with a cappuccino in her hand. Narrator Carrie is talking about how she was raised secularly-- you know, with ACTUAL, meaningful morals: be nice to people and don't talk with your mouth full. She is watching people exit a church, they're all wearing designer clothing. Narrator Carrie notes that fashion and god go so well together. And then she sees a familiar face-- Big. At church. It was disorienting to say the least.
She says hi to him, jokes with him about how she's writing about closet Presbyterians and he says he's actually an atheist. I actually love this subplot. I dunno about you, but there are an awful lot of secular shows about non-religious people.. but not enough characters actually say out loud "I'm an atheist"-- Brian from family guy came out oh, however long ago it was that anyone still cared about Family Guy. He got a lot of attention, as if he was the only atheist character on any show ever.
oop, Sex and the City did it at *least* a decade before that. So. put that in your pipe and smoke it. internet. lol.
Anyway. Big goes to church to spend time with his mother. which is kind of sweet. Big never told Carrie about it because she writes on Sundays, it never came up, and he's kind of withholding. clearly. He invites her to do something, and she says she's just leaving, then leaves him with a humorous "god bless." Narrator Carrie says that this is one of those awkward relationship moments where you feel like you know nothing about the person you thought you knew everything about.
Miranda, Charlotte and Carrie are out at some bar, they're chatting about Big.
Miranda says "he goes to church with his mother, that can't be good"
Charlotte retorts "Don't listen to her, a man who cares about his mother makes a wonderful husband"
I'm lolling SO hard at her right now. IRONY FORESHADOW. I definitely think the show-writers planned her and Trey this far ahead-- how could they not? In order to build her character appropriately, she has to get hit smack in the head with how much her idealism can be incredibly destructive, so she can learn and grow. It really is great how these little one-off lines totally come back to bite her in the ass.
Back to religion:
Carrie says "I think it's sweet"
Miranda retorts: "Sure, all religions are sweet till you get to that shower after sex phase"
They talk about the church that Big goes to, Charlotte being the expert rater of churches for some reason, Miranda jokes about the Zagat guide to churches "good bread, disappointing wine" :p
Carrie says she's dying to meet his mother. Charlotte makes another one-liner that will bite her in the ass. lol.
Sam shows up, talks about how she just had a five-hour lunch with James, a new guy she's seeing. She hasn't fucked him yet. She is like, in love with him, and is considering marriage. This freaks Charlotte out, she always assumed she'd be the first to marry. She is struggling to be happy for Sam. To add insult to injury, Sam explains how it is all thanks to Charlotte's that she's in love-- if she'd slept with James already, who knows where they'd be? I do. lol.
This drives Charlotte to a Psychic. "When will I get married?" Charlotte asks. The psychic does a tarot card reading with her and reveals that while Charlotte is strong and independent, she doesn't see marriage. Charlotte's like "How could you say that? What about my feelings"
"I'm a psychic, not a shrink!"
To finish off Charlotte's plot: She ends up going to a very strange witch doctor voodoo something, who does a reading with her-- this time with chicken eggs. Hers was yoke-less, which says she's CURSED! and she'll never be Married! but, if she pays a lot of money, they can remove the curse! Charlotte leaves in a huff! What nonsense! On the street, she accidentally runs into a man, who is cute and smiles at her. Of course she's not cursed! goodness. There are plenty of men out there for her!
Carrie and Big are eating dinner. Carrie says that she wants to go to church with him and his mom. He is a little disturbed by this, keeping her at arms length. She's not the church type, and many other excuses. It culminates in him saying that it's a private thing that he does with his mother. There is a looong awkward pause and he invites her to the Caribbean with him. a mini-vacation. fun!
Miranda is coming with Catholic man. He gets up to shower after, and she holds him and asks him to stay. It'll just be a minute, he protests. "There's nothing sinful about sex." Miranda calmly explains to him. He overreacts, yells at her about how of course he has thought about it and it isn't logical-- but you know.. religion. He sarcastically ends with: "Thank you for saving my immortal soul! Now I'm not going to hell!" And he tells her to leave. Good Riddance!
Sam and James finally *finally* decide to make love.
"I'm ready! Put it in!"
"It is in"
She hoped he was kidding. He wasn't.
D:
Miranda and Carrie go to church together. They are spying on Big. They are up in the balcony, they see Big and his mother and Miranda's like "OK, let's get out of here" while the preacher says "let us pray" (that's my response!) but Carrie accidentally lets a book drop from the second story to the aisle, and everyone looks up at her in her big white hat and she's awkwardly smiling. whoops! They have to stay now, everyone is watching them.
On the way out of the church, Big and his mother see Carrie-- Big is acting cold, like a stranger. Big's mother doesn't recognize Carrie's name. She'd never heard of her. Big's mom goes to talk to the preacher and Carrie takes the opportunity to ask if his mother had ever heard of her? "She doesn't need to meet *another* girlfriend."
Carrie is like "WTF, we've been going out for months!"
Big says something about timing, and she looks at him expectantly.. like, why not now? Big brushes her off yet again, saying that they'll talk about it next weekend in the Caribbean and Carrie goes to sit in a pew for a little bit to process everything.
Miranda sits next to her. comforts her. Carrie talks about how he introduced her to his mother as a friend. Miranda says in a cute little way "maybe they're not that close" "don't lie, you're in a church"
"I can't get inside!" she laments, "I don't know what else to do."
In the next scene, Carrie is at some cool club set in a church. There are naked men in cages with wings. It is a party for a new perfume or something. She runs into Stanford, who is with his new boyfriend.
Stanford says "Isn't this fun? It's like hell with a cover charge!"
Miranda runs into Skipper. They hit it off a little bit. She's mostly just relieved to be around a guy who doesn't immediately shower after sex-- Miranda invites him home, and he says something about lighting a candle and saying a prayer that one day they'd be together. Miranda calls him a freak. ><
In the next scene, the girls comfort Sam about James-- the man with the micro-penis. They're VERY supportive, and despite his short comings, Sam doesn't immediately decide to break up with him. She's really upset though, she loves a big dick. :nods: Charlotte asks the important questions: "How is he with his tongue?" :D
In the final scene, Carrie is packed and ready to go to the Caribbean with Big. She's not sure she wants to go though. He takes her stuff, starts to put it in the trunk, and she stops him and says "wait wait. I need a sign" She talks to him about faith, about how he doesn't have to tell his mother or the world-- just her. Tell her she's the one.
He can't.
She starts crying, shaking her head. She can't go with him.
"So that's it?" He asks.
There's another long awkward pause. He shakes his head. Gets in his car, and it drives away.
She finally breaks up with Big. She monologues that she realizes that she does have faith. Faith in herself. Faith that she would one day meet someone who would be sure that she is the one.
There's a bit more music, then it fades in the usual way.
alas. bitter sweet.
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