To be fair, I'm not feeling particularly funny these days. On the other hand, if I don't practice how do I expect to feel better?
This episode it's the morning after. Aiden is leaving and Carrie is wearing rubber gloves pretending she knows how to fix a toilet. She can be independent dammit. Aiden is like... let me fix this for you. After some awkward dialogue including the use of the term "ball cock," she gives him back the engagement ring and then he leaves and she melts onto the bathroom floor and cries for several hours.
fair enough.
He's left an envelope for her and she thinks it's a goodbye letter but it's most definitely not. It's way too thick.
It's an eviction notice. Well, more like a "hey, remember how I bought this place? You really need to give me money for it, it wasn't a gift for YOU but for US, what the fuck were you thinking you could just live here rent free after we broke up?"
Part of me actually thinks she thinks this. Suffice to say, she has 30 days to vacate or make an offer.
At brunch, her friends discuss the issue as well as renting vs. owning. Carrie thinks everyone in Manhattan rents, but alas she's the only one at the table who does this. XD
"Charlotte you got yours in the settlement, you did not pay for your apartment."
"Oh I paid for that apartment."
darn tootin!
Sam flashes her new Chanel wallet. Well, she didn't buy it. Richard gave it to her. OK, so maybe we should discuss Richard and Sam. They originally got together because neither of them are relationship people and they thought that would be a good basis for a relationship. Sam starts to develop feelings for him, and Richard does not reciprocate. In fact, Richard openly dates other women, and Sam is meant to feel horrible for wanting more since their original agreement was to keep things casual.
Richard has lately taken to buying her very expensive gifts and signing 'best, Richard' instead of 'love.' Every time Sam reads it it's like a sucker punch to the gut.
"Best is like signing 'not love'" She sums up.
They also discuss the ring thing. Everyone thinks Carrie is a fool for not keeping it, but I'm on her side. It should never have been accepted. Course, Aiden did say she could keep it, and if she hawked it she could have some down-payment money. She's way too noble for that.
And we finally get to have that discussion about her finances we've all been deathly curious about this whole time. How can a freelance writer with one column a week live in Manhattan?
Ok, we don't get any answers, just.. not very well? sort of an answer. She's got about forty thousand dollars worth of shoes but no money for a down-payment on her apartment.
Still No idea how she could afford a $750 rent-controlled apartment AND a new pair of $400 shoes a month, not to mention all the goings out and other clothes she's constantly buying.
Hey, she should pull a shopaholic and sell most of her shoes. She's a size 7-and-a-half with excellent taste in shoes. She'd get her down payment right there.
But she's not as savvy as me.
She goes to the bank-- is actually proud of her pitiful savings-- and is immediately turned down without even so much as filling out a form. It's not very realistic. In fact, I bet she could have been afforded a small loan from the bank. She has her rolling debt and not very much in savings. Perfect!
I have a lot of feelings about this.
People who are responsible and don't have debt are WILDLY mistreated by financial institutions. HashbrownAskMeHowIKnowWaitYouDon'tWantToGetMeStarted.
She then goes to the bank of Big. We get to see his very posh office, and the only thing missing that Carrie points out are the rows of blonde secretaries in tight sweaters typing.
He actually writes her a check.
And then while having dinner with her friends she shamefully pulls it out and then *rips it to shreds*
Too noble to take the money but not too noble to ask for it.
She tries to ask her friends for it instead. Well, doesn't really ask but makes it very clear how helpful it would be if they all just gave her a shit ton of money to bail her out of her woes.
Miranda actually goes so far to offer her half, but Carrie doesn't take it because of the baby.
Charlotte loudly slurps her soda and looks away. She emphatically does -not- want any part of Carrie's financial mess.
There's a few scenes here and there where Carrie walks through an apartment that smells like curry take-out and doesn't have her quintessential shoe-closet. See, now selling all her shoes makes sense.
She also goes shoe shopping with the ever expanding Miranda. The show has lowered itself to fart jokes. It's funny cause pregnant women are fat cows who fart all the time. ha ha. Miranda also complains about another symptom of pregnancy that people barely talk about-- thinking about sex all the time. "It's why you're supposed to be married so -someone- is obligated to have sex with you!"
Carrie also has a scene where she attempts to take the bus, but she's on the side of it and someone asks why she has to take the bus if she's on it. "My thoughts exactly" she says and she takes a much more expensive cab instead. :rolls eyes again:
There's some scenes with Charlotte who's *desperate* for a job, even if it doesn't pay. She is shown wandering through her apartment with her wedding ring on. She originally wanted to get it turned into something else, but the thought of them melting it down gave her heart palpitations.
She does get a job as a docent at the Museum of Modern Art. Very spiffy. Carrie asks if it pays well cause she can docent, but it's a -coveted- volunteer position and this, on top of the whole having to leave her home of ten years, just gets the hell under Carrie's skin.
Finally she confronts Charlotte at home. She wouldn't *take* the money from Charlotte, but it wouldn't kill her to offer. Charlotte is offended. Money shouldn't get between friends.
"It's not my job to fix your finances." Charlotte starts. "You're a 35-year old woman, you need to stand on your own!" She finishes, accidentally flashing her wedding ring which is inconveniently on her finger.
"Charlotte... What is that on your finger?"
"I just wear it when I'm alone in my house." She pouts.
"And you're telling Me to be more independent?"
"It's my ring, I can wear it if I want to. And so what if it makes me feel better? And for the record the only reason I am volunteering is because no one will hire me! I've called seven galleries. Apparently I have too much experience!"
"You're right. It's your ring, it's your business. I just got all worked up on the walk over here."
"You walked?" Charlotte seems worried.
"No, I took a $5 cab ride 6 blocks. These shoes pinch my feet, but I love them. I'm in a financial cul-de-sac."
DOOOD Carrie, just sell your fucking shoes. if you have to pay 5$ every time you wear them because you can't walk in them, they are not good shoes.
Carrie also offhandedly mentions that Vogue offered her some free-lance work. 4 bucks a word, apparently that's a lot. She'll just waste it all on a new haircut though.
Carrie's financial issues give -me- heart palpitations.
---
Sam has just taken a bath at Richard's place. On her way to get dressed, she catches a man in the bedroom which gives her her own set of palpitations. It's not a robber or rapist, it's Richard's gift-buying assistant. Apparently Richard's 'best' comes from a very embarrassed man who has been having a lot of fun spending Richard's money on her. She promises that she won't tell Richard about finding out about him if he does one little thing for her.
The next time she's opening a gift in front of him, she reads the card "gorgeous for Gorgeous. Love! Richard." God, if she weren't hilarious I would find her manipulative as fuck. XD
She successfully gets him to use the L word though. out loud even!
--
Steve is over at Miranda's working out scheduling issues for when the baby gets here. He offers to rub her feet and she is all over that.
She asks him if he thinks that she's ugly, and he is so sweet. He says she's got that glow. d'awww.
"But would you want to have sex with me?"
"What are you talking about? You're pregnant."
She feels absolutely disgusting, and on top of all the farting and foot issues, she can't stop thinking about sex.
"And who would want to have sex with me?" aww, she breaks my heart.
"I want to have sex with you."
Then they have sex. And that's how Brady got his dimples! XD
--
Charlotte takes Carrie out to offer her the ring. As a loan.
It sort of brings them together and makes up for the drama. So yay! Carrie can stay in her apartment. whew. We wouldn't want Carrie to smell like Curry all the time.
Anywho that's all! I'll see you next week. Hey, stop laughing. It'll happen. You'll see! You'll all see!
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