At Charlotte's rehearsal dinner, Miranda tells her friends about her interesting experiment, noting that eventually she'll tell him and if he balked it would make him totally shallow.
I don't know what she means, why wouldn't he be weirded out and upset by the fact that the second thing she told him was a lie?
Aiden rightly points out that she really can't date him effectively since she did lie to him, and it makes Carrie squirm in her seat. She's the liar, and she's wondering when and if she should tell him about her affair.
Trey stands up from the other side of the room to offer a toast. It really is a sweet thing, I'm going to be sad when their relationship implodes over the next few episodes. :/
"I... uh, we. See mother, I told you I'd become a 'we' sooner or later. This is, uh, a 'we' toast..."
He introduces his Cousin who flew all the way from Edinburgh to say a few incomprehensible lines of dialogue.
I've no idea what he actually says. But Sam's interest is piqued, "if he can do that with his 'R's,' imagine what he can do to me."
But not yet.
Unfortunately, the ladies have to go for a dress fitting first, and Sam is not happy at all about it.
I'll never understand how these ladies and others in other shows can be such assholes to each other. None of them appreciate being bridesmaids, and they are grimacing and putting up with all it entails rather than, you know, being happy for her friend and grateful to be apart of her
During the fitting, they are debating the finer points of whether Carrie should tell Aiden about the affair.
Miranda, the Lawyer masquerading as a Stewardess, thinks that she would want to know if she was being lied to.
Sam thinks that since Men lie about it all the time, that Carrie should get off Scott free and not tell him.
Charlotte doesn't want to think about it during her wedding week. ("day. you get a day.") And she doesn't want Miranda pretending anything on her special day. She's still absolutely obsessed with image, rather than substance.
Sam hates the length of her dress, and Charlotte teaches everyone a great mnemonic.
"Don't you think this could stand to be a -little- shorter?" Sam asks, irritated.
"Samantha, all the dresses have to be the same length." Charlotte says like everyone knows that. duh.
"What about Trey's Skirt?"
"It's a kilt, and it's tradition. Is it SO much to ask that you not wear your dress up around your 'see you next Tuesday'?"
"My what?"
"You know, C-U-Next--"
"Tuesday! Carrie finishes, "My god was that a School House Rock I missed?"
what a cunt.
Sam complains that if she has to be a bridesmaid, she wants to look good. Charlotte admits that she only asked her to be a bridesmaid so she wouldn't feel left out. Sam figures she would rather be left out and with Caleb, the indecipherable Scot, and leaves.
Wow, speaking of Cunts.
--
Miranda goes on a real date with the ER doctor. She has on a neck scarf thing that is very stewardess, and spends the whole night make-believing a life she has between airports. It's actually kind of pathological.
--
The ladies go out for a few (too many) drinks the night before the wedding. I think it's supposed to be Charlotte's bachelorette party.
They really are clueless about what Marriage entails, but I guess I can forgive it since none of them are married or have ever been married.
They push that weird little insidious lie that Marriage is an ending.
"You know, Marriage doesn't guarantee a happy ending, just an ending" Sam makes me roll my eyes a lot.
"The end of dating!" (well, I guess technically that one is true. Thanks Charlotte)
"It's also the end of the possibility that your next great fuck is just around the corner." There Sam goes again, spouting the old adage that married people don't have great sex.
"Well," Charlotte is practically hiccuping, "My next great.. Fuck.. IS just around the corner. I finally get to sleep with Trey."
Get to?
oh honey sweety baby, no.
The other three lay into her about how this is a really bad idea.
"Before you buy the car, you take it for a test drive!" Sam informs.
Charlotte insists that she wants to save her non-virginal-self till marriage, and that it is totally not something that will blow up in her face... unless that's something she's into.
After the party, the foursome split up to get some from their respective partners.
Charlotte decides that maybe they have a point. It is the night before the wedding after all, practically her wedding day.
But.. he can't get it up.
She asks if this is common for him, and it is. He sweetly asks her to marry him anyway, and how do you say no to that? It is a whole big mess.
--
Carrie meets Aiden at his place. He's working on a wooden love seat for the couple. I don't know why he isn't done yet. Carrie had asked Aiden if they could give Charlotte and Trey something from his furniture store, so he put together this very thoughtful chair. It's made from two different woods, and it is all very romantic and sweet.
This always rubbed me the wrong way though, not the seat itself, but Carrie always demanding from Aiden way more than she is willing to give-- and after she cheated on him too. In a future episode, next season, she asks him to go check on Miranda and take her to the doctor when Miranda kinks her neck and can't move from her bathroom floor. Totally inappropriate and totally taking advantage of him.
They make out a bit in front of the love seat. Aiden is explaining the metaphor to very inebriated Carrie-- that the two woods come together to make it stronger, like two people, and that the little flaw where they meet is not really a flaw, it's just the way the wood is."
"So flaws can be good?"
"They're the best part."
He's not really talking about relationship damning actions, but Carrie thinks to herself that he is and nearly decides to tell him about the affair.
She doesn't, and they do it. She doesn't tell him one last time on the porch later on that night. Instead she says she loves him.
At her apartment the next morning, she's running late for the wedding. Aiden is looking really dapper in his brown suit and cream shirt. He tries to hold her a little bit, but she is not into his affection, and not just because she's running late. It finally just bursts out of her mouth.
"Aiden, I slept with my ex-boyfriend. You met him at the furniture show and we slept together and I didn't tell you and I'm sorry."
"You slept with that guy while we were going out? once?"
"oh more than once. And he was married and it was a mess, but it is so over." she moves to, I dunno hug him? and he backs away slowly.
He is visibly shaken, he hands her the wedding gift (it's just a wrapped picture of it, obviously), and says he needs to be alone and I don't even blame him.
"Well, what about the wedding?" Even after ALL that, she still demands he do things for her.
"Just go without me."
---
How about something fun now!
Miranda, still posing as a stewardess, is sharing breakfast with her sexy ER doctor man. She's cutting a bagel when her knife slips and she cuts herself.
She's really bleeding, and tries to show it to him several times. He's backing away panicking.
"Stop it! Stop it! Blood makes me queasy!"
"But, you're a doctor! Aren't you?"
Nope. He's a shoe salesman, he just really wanted to sleep with a stewardess. ><
"So you lied?!" The hypocrisy is strong with this one.
She doesn't end up telling him the truth, because what would be the point of that? They could have ended up laughing together if she had.
"I think you should go. And I hope I never see you on one of my flights."
--
At the wedding, Sam is suddenly fluent in Caleb's accent.
And, surprisingly, happy-ish to be a bridesmaid.
"The wedding was complete." Narrator Carrie makes the best joke of the episode: "Charlotte had something old, something new, something borrowed, and someone Samantha Blew."
At the last possible moment, Carrie shows up. Being Maid of Honor, she is the last to walk up the aisle, and Charlotte stops the procession to pull her back. She has to tell her about Trey's little problem right now.
"Trey can't get it up!"
Carrie wishy washes a little, lies a little bit to make Charlotte feel better.
"I just should have slept with him on the first date!"
"Maybe he jerked off right before you got there?" Carrie tries.
"I do love him."
"And he loves you."
"Maybe he *did* jerk off."
And finally Carrie offers actual good advice to the woman with cold feet:
"Charlotte, sweetie. If you don't want to go through this, you don't have to. Alright? we'll just get a cab, and then everyone will have to just get over it."
But Charlotte, standing in a very expensive wedding dress decides she'd rather ruin the next several months of her life than be embarrassed in front of all these people. eh, it's a toss up, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure the bagpipes start playing a traditional funeral march as she walks down the aisle, but I'm not sure.
After the ceremony, right before pictures, Aiden shows up. He wants to talk to Carrie. Ok, he wants to break up with Carrie.
Carrie reminds him of the wood from the love seat, that it is flawed but that's OK. But he isn't buying it.
He says that he wishes she never told him about it.
What a pisser.
So he leaves, and she is left sobbing. They need her for pictures, and she is friend enough to buck up and fake a smile.
Narrator Carrie waxes a bit about how her friends at least love her no matter what.
I guess there's something.
That's the end of that one.
The next few episodes are not really my favorite, and in fact, most of the rest of the season feels dated and like a different show. I'll get through it though! There's so much more of Carrie that I have to criticize! :D whew!
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