Are Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte Sluts?
let's find out.
The episode begins at Carrie's doorway. She's making out pretty hard with the guy she just started dating, Aiden. ah, Aiden. He's the best.
Only, he doesn't want to come in. He says he has to feed his dog, Pete, and can't spend the night. She's a little miffed, she was so ready to bone.
Meanwhile, a few hours later, Sam is greeted by a nocturnal guest at 2 in the morning. :eyebrow waggle: Next morning, however, she finds that one of her old-lady neighbors has been mugged by someone who came in the building after Sam's guest. (there's a whole video which shows that the mugger sneaked in after him)
And Sam feels terribly guilty about the whole thing, and embarrassed. And she slinks out of the scene, hoping nobody noticed that she was the male-orderer.
At brunch the next day, mum's the word.
Charlotte doesn't want to talk about how on her third date with an investment banker, during coitus, he shouted out "you fucking bitch you fucking whore!" Absolutely terrifying her and making her feel like maybe he has a point.
I feel bad that she immediately gives him that power. It was rude what he did, and jarring. And only appropriate if she consented to that kind of thing.
For the record, I think it would have been *more* appropriate at the dry cleaners, because at least the context would show his mental state.
And finally, Charlotte wonders aloud: "Do you think I'm a whore?"
"Oh please! If you're a whore, then what does that make me?!" Sam asks.
And then the rest of her friends pile on, Miranda admits that Charlotte has had a decent amount of bone in her, so clearly she is a prostitute.
Charlotte starts spinning about how no one wants to marry a whore.
This whole conversation is making my head spin. WTF?
Carrie finally mentions the thing that she didn't want to mention, which is that after a week and a half of dating, her new beau doesn't want to do it with her and she's still annoyed.
Sam unhelpfully tells her that if he doesn't sleep with her before some undefined period that the man who was previously rubbing Carrie's ass provocatively will unceremoniously drop her in the friend zone.
On her next date with Aiden, she wears one of her 'leave little to the imagination' dresses, and is sending ALL the sex vibes his way. At her doorway, while she is trying to get the door open, he cock blocks her again.
She is just done with him then. She rushes in and closes her door in his face.
He knocks gently, and this is all a sort of metaphor for what he says next: "What's going on up there?"
And this is why we love Aiden. He wants to understand her, he wants love her for her.
And she just wants to shut him out and lie to him (but I'm getting WAY ahead of myself here).
She asks plainly if he just wants to be friends, and he asks if she kisses her friends that way.
He goes on to explain himself. He doesn't want to just sleep with women, he wants to only sleep with women he's in love with. He's out to get married. (there should be klaxons going off in her head at this point) And she then wonders 'why did I want to sleep with him after only a week and a half?'
She has a conversation with Miranda about it next day.
Miranda is sympathetic, but has her own, more pressing worries. She had been told by her gynecologist that she has chlamydia, which she'd never been tested for before. The Gyno wants her to call up every one of her previous sexual partners to let them know that they should get tested for it. This is going to prove a daunting challenge for her as one of her previous lovers on her legal notepad is "guy from deli."
(btw, I call bullshit on Lawyer Miranda not getting tested for STIs every time she has a new partner)
--
Charlotte, for whatever reason, is trying it again with the asshole who called her a bitch and a whore, for whatever reason. They are having a lovely dinner, but Charlotte can't get it out of her mind, the scene. He asks her what's the matter, and he doesn't remember yelling out in bed at all.
She laughs it off and starts to enjoy her date. Until bed. When he shouts again, and she has to point out, "there it is you said it again."
"What did I say?"
She can hardly say it, but she does, and he is so apologetic. He had no idea and he certainly doesn't think that about sweet Charlotte.
In her final scene having sex with him, he doesn't want to come. He's afraid that he's going to shout it again, and be made aware of it. She tells him finally to come and he hates himself. Hello therapy!
--
Miranda has to convince Steve to go to the free clinic to get tested. He doesn't want to go, and has a strange idea about how STI's work. Since men are just carriers, he wonders why he has to get tested at all.
:rolls eyes:
She tells him that she doesn't want to do it with him anymore if he doesn't get tested (and doesn't want to do it with him at all until she's done with her antibiotics.
He goes to free clinic and finds out they need a swab from his urethra.
--
Sam is confronted in her apartment building's elevator by a poodle-holding older woman. She says that they all know that it was she who buzzed in the gunman, and she has WAY too many gentlemen callers in general.
"That's ridiculous." But then her face changes and there is a fun little montage in the elevator; a melange of men over the years that she's gotten frisky with.
She's disoriented by the time her floor arrives.
Later on, she is confronted in the lobby by all her old-lady neighbors, including the one who was mugged, and she's got a big black eye to show for it. Rather than blaming the missing doorman, they still blame her for the mugger getting in.
She calls Carrie to complain about it and decides that the only way out of this predicament is to move.
Which, by the end of the episode she has, to the trendy meatpacking district. Well that does sound promising! ;)
--
Miranda, is at work, calling all her old lovers. She's at the end of a conversation congratulating -someone- on his being married and not having to worry about chlamydia.
In the cannon in my mind, I like to think it's Skipper.
On the other line, is the man she dated immediately after Skipper, the angry man. She tries to wade her way carefully through the conversation. He is not helping.
He knows what chlamydia is, he got tested and *did* have it. Miranda's pissed. He could have given it to her, why didn't he call her to let her know to get tested.
"You told me never to call you again!"
"NOW I REMEMBER WHY. BYE!"
She's had to make a lot of difficult calls that day, and by the end of it is exhausted. She's also had to confront her own fears about her possible slut-dom. So, while talking with Steve later, reveals her number. 42.
Steve says that it's not so bad. (and really if Miranda's in her early-thirties that's only about 3 a year, which is well under Joey's 10 year tenure. )
Miranda then tries to guess Steve's number, and Steve seems so bashful about it, she low balls it, so he keeps having to say "higher" whenever she guesses.
"Higher than sixty? A lot higher?"
"Hey, I'm a bartender and I'm cute." Steve explains his promiscuity.
"Note" Narrator Carrie explains, "Men who have had a lot of sexual partners are not called sluts. They're called Very Good Kissers."
--
On her next date with Aiden, Carrie is looking for signs of being "friendzoned." This'll end well. So far:
He certainly kissed me like a boyfriend. But he teased me like a friend.
boyfriend: He wiped a dribble of food from under her lip
friend: he says "I don't care what anyone says, I think Catherine Zeta Jones is hot..." (as if that's debatable)
boyfriend: "Not as hot as you."
She calls Charlotte for a second opinion.
"I think Samantha's right," Carrie begins, "I think we're just friends who kiss occasionally"
"Why are you whispering?" Charlotte asks
"He's still here."
"Well, that sounds promising!"
"He's been in the bathroom for half an hour"
"eww."
He calls from the other room for her to come to the bathroom so she hangs up. She finds he's drawn her a bath with candles and romance and she quips that it "wow! It looks like a Danielle Steel novel in here."
He says that he noticed she was tense and wanted her to relax a bit. She asks if this is a ploy to see her naked and they flirt a bit back and forth. He jars her a bit by announcing that he has to get going-- "but that doesn't mean we're just friends."
She somehow convinces him to join her in this very romantic tub, and he does.
Carrie asks, "Now what?" now that they're both naked in the very bubbly tub.
"Now what, what? We're just taking a bath. Oh fuck it, let's just do it."
But suddenly Carrie sees how special doing it could be and doesn't want to. She wants to wait for the right time too. aww.
On their next date, Aiden surprises her by telling her that the neighbor kid has been enlisted to take care of the dog, so he is free to spend the night.
So, they -finally- sleep together and it means something.
I still feel icky about this whole episode, I feel like it gives puritans just enough ammo to continue slut shaming people who sleep with each other before their wedding nights. Not that puritans watch this show, but this episode doesn't do enough to erase some of that icky cultural baggage that is in fucking everything.
No. They aren't sluts because that's fucking sexist.
Yes, there are some negative consequences to being promiscuous, but not having sex won't prevent all of them-- like the mugging. Or getting your heart broken. Or being yelled at by men, called a fucking whore. Since when does not having sex stop horrible men from slut-shaming women?
blah.
That's the end of the episode.
<3
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