This is
the last episode with Skipper. Poor Skipper. He's having a bad
time. Another girlfriend broke up with him and he's sore about it.
Well,
Carrie wants to get to the bottom of it. What did she say she
thought was wrong?
“Skipper
you're a very sweet guy” girlfriend #1 starts with a sultry sort of
raspy voice that is irresistible, tbh, “I mean, this isn't about
anything you did it's just that we're in very different places right
now, we want different things from life. I feel like I need to spend
more time alone.”
“So
actually,” Skipper replies, “we want the same things! We want to
spend more time with you!”
–
Three
months before that, Another girl's excuse:
“The
timing is wrong, that's all.” Girlfriend #2 is brunette and really
adorable. “You're one of the nicest guys I've ever known. It's just
that I feel like I've reached a time in my life when I need to focus
on my career and I don't want to feel guilty about that.”
“But I
don't want you to give up your career.”
“I
know! I know! You've been great. You really deserve someone who will
appreciate you. I just don't feel like I have anything left to give
at the moment.”
–
And last
year, was Miranda. She says in a deadpan:
“I
feel like I need to spend more time alone. I've just reached a point
in my life where I need to focus on my career. I just don't think I
have anything to give at the moment. Skipper, What else can I say?!”
Past
Skipper bows his head all dejected.
–
Back to
the present, Skipper continues with Carrie about how horrible his
luck is with women. Carrie doesn't tell him her astute observation
that he is attracted to sweet women who are attracted to mean men.
I don't
think Miranda is sweet. But what do I know?
Speaking
of Miranda, she's on a date across town with a -very- angry man.
He's another lawyer and he's a total asshole.
He goes
on about the loud talkers in the theater (OK, I'm behind him with
that), but then criticizes Miranda for deigning to enjoy the movie.
Then he essentially calls her an idiot for trying to get a cab facing
the “wrong” way. She looks visibly annoyed, but she apparently
enjoys the rush of adrenaline that comes with being challenged at
every fucking turn.
Not to
mention the rush of adrenaline that comes with being held against the
wall with her arms above her head. Nnnf. That -can- be hot. But
seriously though, this guy is a fucking asshole, otherwise.
–
At a
park picnic the next day, the foursome are discussing Miranda's angry
boyfriend. Miranda hates how he treats her in life, but loves being
told what to do in sex and that is strange to her. So Sam suggests
that she limit her involvement with him to just sex.
Carrie
didn't tell Skipper about his pattern, but she doesn't hold back at
all with Miranda:
“...Maybe
you should face the fact that you're attracted to angry guys.”
Miranda
uses Skipper as a defense, and Carrie rightly points out that she
broke up with him because he was too nice.
I don't
know why she forgets about Steve, the nicest guy until we get to
Aiden, who is the nicest guy until we get to Harry.
Sam is
proud that she doesn't have a pattern with men.. But she does.
Anyone can see her pattern, it is obvious.
Charlotte's
pattern is also as obvious, and the girls lay it out accurately
enough to Charlotte's chagrin:
“You
wait for a perfect guy to ask you on a perfect date” Miranda
starts, and Carrie picks up the lead, “And when he does you project
this HUGE fantasy on him, setting up these enormous expectations--”
Sam interrupts, “--which promptly blow up in your pretty little
face.”
“That's
a horrible pattern.” Charlotte meekly eats a biscuit or whatever.
Her friends try to give her advice about juggling men, and Charlotte
does take the advice to heart.
I once
watched the director's commentary on one of these episodes, and he
talked about how when the girls take their friends advice, they
usually live to regret it. This is no exception.
Sam
points out to all the women that they need to all stop dating one man
at a time, look how much time Carrie wasted on Big for example.
Carrie
reveals that she actually may have learned something from her shrink
in the last episode:
“Big
was an aberration. Next time I meet a handsome, wealthy, and
emotionally unavailable 43-year-old man I'll know what to expect.”
And
Miranda follows up with why Carrie shouldn't have quit the shrink so
fast: “Will you? Or will you just make the same mistake all over
again?”
Writer
Carrie goes home and writes in her little laptop about whether we are
all dating the same person over and over again.
I like
the line-up of interviews this episode, especially this one:
“Well,
I guess I have dated quite a few artists, but I don't think they were
all the same person. OK! Yes, they were all narcissists with
commitment phobias and substance abuse issues, but in my opinion the
painters were very different from the sculptors.”
–
In her
room, Samantha is trying to get some sleep, but can't because the
couple in the room next to hers is flaunting their sex life. She
decides if you can't join em, beat it. >< “having a wall
between herself and the person she was having sex with fit Samantha's
pattern to a T”
She gets
an invitation, later on in the episode, to actually join the couple
whom she's never met. Unfortunately for her, they are a very old
couple and gross.
So, she
breaks her usual pattern and asks them to keep it down. She then
moves her bed to the other side of her room. So, Samantha -does- know
the word 'no!'
–
Carrie
is feeling restless. She spends every night out till 3, sleeps till
noon, and has developed the bad habit of calling old fuck buddies.
John the
fuck buddy is the worst. He's the Beeper King from 30 Rock. No, I
really think he is the same character. He even sells phone cards.
He doesn't call anyone a dummy though.
Lol. I think if I were
ranking Carrie's boyfriends, he would be at the very bottom. Right
under the jazz man with ADHD.
Carrie
invites John the Fuck Buddy out to dinner, but they don't make it out
of her apartment.
It seems
like he's a normal sweet guy, he always comes when he's called, and
performs well enough. She asks herself why she'd been holding onto
him for so long, relegated to the “fuck buddy” shelf. So, rather
than leaving him there where he's useful, she pulls him down, dusts
him off, and invites him to actual dinner next weekend.
–
“Carrie
you can't date your fuck buddy!” Samantha says while the foursome
are at Yoga. “You're going to turn the only man in your life who's
there purely for sex and turn him into a human being?”
Charlotte
is confused “What is a fuck buddy?!”
Everyone
rolls their eyes, of course -she- wouldn't know. So, while moving to
a new yoga position, Carrie explains what a fuck buddy is. He's a
guy you maybe dated once or twice but the sex was so good that you
just kinda keep him on hold.
Charlotte
feels a niggling bit of jealousy that whenever they are -horny- they
can call someone and he'll just come right on over. “Well, he's
not a slave, he does have a life” Sam explains. “But you don't
really have to know about it.” Miranda adds.
“And,
you're usually guaranteed him within six hours or less.” Carrie
finishes.
“And
you all have one?” Charlotte asks again.
Miranda
explains that she did, but her “dial-a-dick” moved to Chicago and
now they have phone sex-- “Why'd he move to Chicago?” Carrie asks
politely, Miranda bows and says plainly, “I have absolutely no
idea.”
Charlotte
is emboldened by all of this and invites a cute man out after yoga.
She -never- asks guys out. Ever.
–
Carrie
meanwhile, is getting dressed up for her night out with her fuck
buddy, John. He shows up and immediately starts making out with her,
she has to stop him and let him know that she made a reservation at a
sushi restaurant. “oh, I see,” He licks his lips, “sushi!”
Oh no! A
real life reservation, you know, Japanese food.
Awkward.
At the
restaurant, he makes the absolute regrettable pun “sake to me” in
response to whether he wants sake. Even I grimaced at that. And I
adore puns.
He then
gives her a phone card, cause he's the beeper king. She asks for a
whole hour next time, all flirtatiously since she's still trying to
scrape together some semblance of a cute date out of this mess, and
it goes right over his head and he continues his phone business
spiel.
Awkward
again.
She ends
up taking him to bed, if only to erase the stagnant memory of the
past two hours.
–
Miranda
prepares the foursome to meet her angry new boyfriend. He's running
late, but it gives her just enough time to prep them. And enough
time for a mini conversation about Charlotte juggling many many dates
this week. She was so emboldened by their talk that she even has two
dates on the same night. Everyone is thrown that -she- of all people
is juggling.
“my
god, you're turning into a man” Samantha says.
“Apparently,
Charlotte had broken more than a pattern, she'd actually changed
genders--” Narrator Carrie narrates-- “I just don't know how I'm
going to eat two dinners in a row.” Charlotte interrupts the
narration.
“And
then, just like that she was a woman again.”
The
angry boyfriend deigns to actually show up in a huff. He loudly
complains about a bad taxi driver, and makes racist remarks to boot.
Miranda starts to introduce her friends to him, but he has to go make
a quick phone call and before he goes, rudely and loudly demands a
glass of beer from the waitress off screen. Waitress spills some
while she sets it down, and Miranda is seen sopping the minor mess
and wiping down the stein.
“What
are you doing?” her friends ask her.
“I
just don't want him going off on the waitress.”
She has
a problem, clearly. She continues to defend him, again saying that
once he makes partner he'll be a decent human being.
Let's
just say I have my doubts.
–
Charlotte's
dates seem to go well enough, she feigns a cold in order to make it
to the second one, and during her goodnight kiss with bachelor #2
outside her apartment, they run into bachelor #1 who had dropped off
soup. You know, for her cold.
The men
are totally pissed off, both dumping her on the spot and catching a
cab together. They lived happily ever after.
j/k, the
show isn't -that progressive- more like the men were angry that a
-woman- took her love-life in her own hands and they both refused to
acknowledge the double standard they just subjected her to. Poor
Charlotte though, she'll never take advice from her friends again.
–
Miranda's
boyfriend made partner! So, now he's acting like a good-natured,
totally decent human being! Just kidding, he's even more
high-strung. He goes off on Miranda for celebrating with him for his
making partner and she finally gets that he's an asshole and walks
away from him, leaving him sitting at the outdoor cafe with his
champagne.
“Where
are you going?”
“Back
to never-never land, and by the way, NEVER-NEVER call me again.”
She sees
Skipper from afar, and calls out to him, it was the perfect time to
meet such a nice sweet guy, immediately after she'd just dumped angry-man for
being angry. But Skipper tells her off, yelling at her for dumping
him, and telling her not to tell him what to do. She has the hugest
smile on her face, and it is totally comical, actually. “Can't we
just talk?” she says to him after he finishes yelling at her on the
street.
His
anger inspired Miranda to be -attracted to him- even more. Which is
horrifying to be honest.
–
Carrie
tries to go out with John the Fuck Buddy again, to the movies. I
don't know WHY! She makes bad choices. Honestly.
He is so
so stupid. God.
“Was
it a comedy?” He asks about the movie they just watched.
'err.
No?”
“didn't
think so.”
She
tries to talk about how beautiful her neighborhood is, with the
historical brownstones and lovely trees. His response: “Your tits
look really great in that thing.”
She
tells him he can't come up and decides to break up with him. So now
she's thrown back into her old pattern of restlessness.
She
really should join a nunnery or learn to knit or something.
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